GNARLY LOWELL
Basketball and baseball are just games for chumps,
I love extreme sports with big fucking jumps.
I bet I can clear that wall if I run,
If I do a faceplant that’s half the fun.
LONELY LOWELL
Lonely Lowell’s got no friends around,
Where he is at is a total ghost town.
Alone he sleeps; alone he eats.
Alone he sends out lonely tweets.
TWEETY LOWELL
TSwiftvsHDuff is his twitter name,
Funny, sexy tweets will bring him nerd fame.
On the town, in the room, or even at home,
He stays wired up with his geeky iPhone.
BRAGGY LOWELL
Braggy Lowell surely is the bee’s knees,
He hits home runs and half-court shots with ease.
Such great skills he has, there’s no need to hone.
Also, did I mention that he’s got an iPhone?
CULINARY LOWELL
He can cook you an omelette with all of the fixins,
Or something more fancy with a whole ton of mix-ins.
Culinary Lowell works the pot and the pan,
And claims to be Emeril Lagasse’s number one fan.
ORDINARY LOWELL
PB and J on white bread’s all he eats,
Cheese-only pizza, no weird smelly meats.
Ordinary Lowell wears jeans, tees, and sneaks,
Says “like” way too often each time that he speaks.
ENERGY LOWELL
5-Hour Energy flows out of his ying,
Hopped up on excess caffeine and ginseng.
Super productive any given time of the day,
Awake long into the night he will stay.
STUDY LOWELL
Working hard with his head in the books,
Holed up in one of Olin library’s nooks.
In class discussion he makes his voice heard,
Sucking up and getting straight A’s like a nerd.
PARTY LOWELL
Party Lowell know who all’s throwing down,
If there’s a shindig at your pad he’ll surely come ‘round.
Number one goal of the night: to make friends,
Also to be somewhere neat when it ends.
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