The other day, while on my way to class, a friend told me about their latest idea: a “Vagina Monologues” style play called “The CollegeACB Monologues,” in which a group of actors performed monologues based off the wild range of posts from Wesleyan’s favorite anonymous and trashy forum. I thought the idea sounded nothing short of luridly awesome.
As I continued towards class, I started thinking more about the ACB. Having recently seen and loved “The Social Network,” I started thinking about the wider implications of what the ACB means for our society. Is it a metaphor for our lack of connection in an increasingly digitalized world? Is it a symbol of humanity’s most powerful longings or darkest desires? Does it capture the zeitgeist of our times?
In the end, I scaled down my intellectual ambitions to focus not on what the ACB says about society, but simply why it is intriguing to so many people. What makes this site, in which students vent about their problems, slander each other, attempt to arrange hookups in the stacks, and inquire about classes, so popular? Why did I spend the past fifteen minutes wandering through the depths of the ACB, fooling myself into thinking I was doing research for this article?
There are several things that make the ACB Wesleyan’s guiltiest pleasure. The first is the pure entertainment value. The ACB is like an unpredictable and entertaining movie—you can never be completely sure if the posts will make you laugh, cry, pout in moral outrage, or want to take a shower. It has a series of tropes that any frequenter of the site knows and loves to mock: the “gay/straight/bi- What’s his/her deal?” post; the “m4f cuddle in my room, I swear I only want to just cuddle” post; and the “[insert wildly offensive comment about race, religion, gender, sex, etc that I could never print in The Argus]” post.
Within these tropes, however, there are plenty of variations. No two “I just want to cuddle” posts are written with the exact same amount of hilariously misguided creepiness. The frequent posts about depression or anxiety offer a cathartic glimpse into the bleakest corners of college life.
In addition, you occasionally hear about a cool class or social event. Obviously, Wesleying serves this same purpose—and in a far classier manner—but the ACB regularly acts as a forum that allows people to advertise events and comment on how a performance or party was after it has finished.
Another reason for the ACB’s popularity is, in my opinion, less concrete. This has become a cliche topic, but the internet obviously offers an unprecedented amount of anonymity. The lack of consequences for what one says on the ACB makes it read like the subconscious of our school. The anonymous posts of curious students and internet trolls seem to mirror the things we say and think that we aren’t proud of, the things we consider when no one is watching.
Perhaps lurking behind the hookup posts is some sort of overflowing college sex drive combined with a longing for random intimacy. The offensive posts mirror people’s most base and banal thoughts, ones that shed light on our darker sentiments. Or they could be a sign of someone’s desire to enrage or just induce discussion, even if such discussion is anonymous. And the most reprehensible part of the ACB, the brand of direct slander of other students that frequently makes you never want to venture onto the website again, reflects the cruelest gossip that is shared behind closed doors.
The ACB frequently creates far more pain than good. Everyone has heard about situations in which students are cruelly mentioned on the ACB and fear returning to school. The forum frequently features incredibly disturbing posts that are not always outweighed by the amusing ones.
However, one positive aspect of the ACB that is rarely discussed is its possible value in combating depression. I have frequently seen posts in which people seek emotional help for various problems. Although the responses are occasionally mean-spirited, they often include advice, offers to talk through the private messaging system, or recommendations to seek help at OBHS. Unfortunately, it is impossible to know how often these responses actually lead to anything constructive.
So is the ACB a good thing? Perhaps not. But whatever one thinks of Wesleyan’s trashiest online destination, it is undeniably an important and guiltily entertaining aspect of campus life. And at risk of sounding like a pretentious pseudo-intellectual, the anonymous postings of random students might just say a little something about the base thoughts and desires of what it means to be a college student in the 21st century.
Steves is a member of the class of 2013.
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