Well, it was one hell of an interesting summer, at least for me. Not that yours wasn’t interesting, but mine was better. I had an excellent well-paying job opportunity, several days spent tanning at the beach, and countless air-conditioned hours flipping through 500 HD channels in search of this moment: my first Idiot Box for the 2010 fall semester.
In the past, for those unfamiliar with my Idiot-Boxing, I have used this time to thoroughly analyze and formally critique television programs with such gusto as Ebert and Roper. That is false. But I still manage to get my point across, and people tend to listen. So listen up, because this new show has so much flare and pizzazz that you’ll just get disco fever…probably because it was made in the 70s.
In 1977 America was introduced to a new kind of family that experimented with the meaning of dysfunctional. “Soap,” which aired on ABC primetime, was created, written and produced by Susan Harris, most noted for her creation of “The Golden Girls” and “Benson.” The sitcom, as you can note by its title, is a parody of daytime soap operas, using many actors known for their work on such soap opera staples as “Days of Our Lives,” “Search for Tomorrow,” and “The Young and the Restless.” Sticking to the melodramatic plot and conventional aspects of a soap opera, “Soaps” touches on racy subjects, such as homosexuality, incest, and infidelity, as well as more unique topics, such as alien abduction, demonic possession, and murder.
Now, here’s where it’s going to get a little tricky because if you haven’t seen the show it will be almost impossible to comprehend this family tree. Pay attention, because it’s going to be hard not to make this a run-on sentence. So the show, located in the fictional town of Dunn’s River, is centered around two families: the Tates and the Campbells. Jessica Tate, played by Katherine Helmond, is the beautiful, air-headed blonde wife of Chester Tate, played by Robert Mandan, a rich stockbroker and philanderer. Together they have three children: Billy, a horny 14-year-old boy, Corrine, their slutty daughter in love with her priest, and Eunice, the eldest and the most socially inept of the children. Jessica is the sister of Mary Campbell, played by Cathryn Damon. Mary is in her second marriage with Burt Campbell, played by Richard Mulligan, who is the man that murdered her first husband, Johnny Dallas, who was involved with the Mafia, because Johnny tried to destroy his business. From her first marriage, Mary has two boys, Danny, played by Robert Urich, and Jodie, played by Billy Crystal. Danny is short-tempered, somewhat unintelligent, and learns from the Mafia that his stepfather, Burt (who later believes he was abducted by aliens and can turn invisible at will) shot his father and now must kill him for revenge and in order to get out of the Mafia. And Jodie is a homosexual…who later believes he’s Jewish.
Now that the basics have been established, there is one character that I suggest you keep an eye out for: Benson DuBois, the butler to the Tate family, played by Robert Guillaume. His snarky comments and sarcastic remarks alone constitute a good reason to watch the show. His hatred for Mr. Tate is expressed in every line of dialogue, and he satisfies his urges to make Mr. Tate’s life miserable simply by doing his job. Once, when asked to make Mr. Tate a three-minute egg, Benson gave it to him raw. His explanation being, “When you ask for a 3-minute egg I give you a 3 minute egg. I took it out the fridge, I had to find that egg holder, and I had to set your table. That is 3-minutes. Now if you wanted it cooked, I got to get out more pots and pans, boil the water—that’s more than 10 minutes. Next time ask for a more than 10 minute egg.” As of now, he stands as the cornerstone to a long line of butlers that we all know and love, such as Geoffrey, from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” or Niles, from “The Nanny,” or Lurch, of “The Addams Family.” The viewers loved Benson so much that Harris decided to create a spin-off called “Benson.”
In fact, while I’m thinking about it, forget everything I just told you. Just watch “Benson.” You get more of him in a half hour time slot on that show than in a whole season of “Soaps.” But after you’re done with that, if you happen to have the time, take a moment and watch an episode of “Soaps.” With its serial format, and awkward voice over narration, it’s worth trying to understand the outrageous complexities that occur in the lives of the “normal” families of the Tates and the Campbells.
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