The past (almost!) four years I’ve spent here, minus a semester abroad, have certainly shattered the romanticism of the kumbaya-all-is-well “community” that is the Wesleyan bubble that was so intoxicating to me as a prefrosh. Yet as I grew to understand the Wesleyan family as a dysfunctional one, like all families are, learning about our family secrets and history, my heart broke and I grew to love Wesleyan even more, and it’s out of this place that I’m writing to you all urgently, to share some of what I’ve learned and come to understand about our brokenness and to extend an invitation toward healing.
My name is Gloria Fanchiang, and a significant part of my Wesleyan experience has been a journey of coming to terms with this piece of my identity that is being an Asian American. It’s through this lens that I’m going to tell my story and the story of Wesleyan.
Receiving that acceptance package was an oh-so-glorious day, but the invitations to student of color events that soon followed left me a bit confused. Okay, I’ll admit at the time believing myself to be a good well-intentioned person I bought into the whole diversity university bit that Wes tries so hard to sell itself on but I’ve come to realize that as much as the label “student of color” is a positive thing, it also fosters much unnecessary tension and becomes a line drawn that in the most extreme case creates an ever increasing distance between people as those hurt from actions or words said out of ignorance vow to avoid those who hurt them continuing on in bitterness and pain, and those who caused others to hurt or those who identify as or are labeled as people causing hurt disengage from those who they (supposedly) hurt either out of embarrassment, guilt, shame, or just to avoid drama.
As an Asian American student, I believe I have the unique ability to call attention to the absolute arbitrariness of this line being drawn because even now after all these years I still don’t know where I fit into all of this or which side I’m supposed to be on. Let’s take a step back and remember that the “student of color” label is one that at least in the recent past is a tool that the university has used to sell itself and perpetuate itself. Would it be too much to put out the word “exploitation”? I’ve mentioned that “soc” can be a positive thing, but I just want to call attention to the ways that it hasn’t been so and the ways that the Wesleyan institution has failed to foster the well-being of its student body. I’m not denying the great privilege of being at a place where it’s possible to meet so many different amazing people, but it seems like more often than not, we’re all stuck in our enclaves here and there hung up over the segregation on campus and developing unhealthy understandings of ourselves and others.
So then, what to do? I believe the only way to overcome ignorance resulting from distance and all the pain and drama along with it is through sustained contact and dynamic vulnerable cross-cultural friendships that include intense confrontations and hurt but also forgiveness, joy, and learning to appreciate, even celebrate our differences. It seems like there are so few venues on campus for this to happen, but I hope that will change as students as well as the administration step up to try to work something out, together.
As much as groups and venues are and have been created, I’d like to initiate my own now. I want to invite everyone to prayer in the name of Jesus. Doesn’t matter if you’re (not) religious, identify as student of color or not or aren’t allowed to. Students, faculty, staff…everyone. This is open to EVERYONE. Even if you don’t believe, I for one believe that my God is a mighty healing God of Love and reconciliation, justice, mercy, and forgiveness, and of every ethnicity and culture, who knows the situation fully and desires to partner with us in the business of restoration. By the time this is published and released there will already have been a prayer meeting. But my hope is that this would be an initiation of unceasing prayer that changes lives. Even in my unbelief, I believe that with God anything is possible and I dare you to dream with me.
Yours,
Gloria
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