On 23rd April, I walked into Identity Politics at Wesleyan: Student and Faculty of Color Panel and Dinner just as the featured short documentary started. I had a plate of Haveli’s food in my hand, with three distinct dishes. In the spirit of things, I noticed that the three distinct dishes tasted almost the same, and varied only in the intensity of their predominant color: brown.
Brown: the color of my skin that has become a prominent word in the definition of me. The students of color labels, the talk about identity and safe spaces have forced me to believe that I am or at least I am supposed to be different from the majority of the Wesleyan Student body – I am supposed to be emotionally charged up, not be carefree, etc. One of the first labels I acquired here was that of an international student – now I have to be a SOC, a South Asian, Brown, among others. These labels that are supposed to provide social justice and political correctness, are forcing me to segregate myself from the much larger white community on campus. In the dinner, that had free “South Asian” food, there were barely any “white” students present. These labels, to me, are nothing more than a furtherance of segregation and a way of highlighting differences not of morals or principles but of skin. Before Wes, before being aware of these differences, I would never have described a person by the color of his skin – his country – sure – his ethnicity – definitely, but recently I have caught myself using colors to talk about individual people.
You want to talk about India, come to me. We can talk about the various languages, religions, festivals, castles and cows. The conversation can go well into the night. I can tell you how historically significant the title of this article is. You ask me what it means to be a SOC and all I will have for you will be silence. I am not ashamed of being brown, it is a cool color, but do not expect it to mean anything more to me. My identity comes from being Indian not brown, and the SOC label misses that part of me completely. I do not feel any “safer” in the South Asian community than I do with any of my white friends. I do not feel I need to behave differently with the “white” students on campus. I did not grow up on Brown Entertainment TV or the Hindu Channel in India; I grew up with Friends, the Olsen twins, Eminem, Grand Theft Auto and cravings for a good New York Style Pizza. Does that make me any less of an Indian? No. Because one thing I learnt in the 18 years of my life before Wes was that, the only differences that matter are ideological and there is not one label powerful enough to capture ideological contrasts.
Protest what is wrong in the world – genocides, racism, honor killings, rape, and too much carbon dioxide. There are several thousand things wrong with the world. Do we really need to add any more? I understand the history of the “N” word and I flinch when I hear the horrible stories of lynching and the Holocaust. But can we, as the future of this world, at least try to be progressive and grant absolute forgiveness to our fathers who have burdened us with these differences. Racism and color boundaries did not end that long ago in this country. But do we need to keep them present in today’s society as politically correct labels? Do these labels really provide us with any amount of solace or strength? Was it not a teaching of the struggles to end racism that people are equal regardless of what they look like? Can we not even try to let go of these boundaries and believe in a world where people will be judged and described strictly by their actions and principles and not petty differences in skin color? The only label I want to hear when someone describes me is the Indian kid from the class of 2010. That label to some extent captures me, my past experiences, my birth, my parents, the several hundred years of history that led to me and my future.
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