Everyone knows exactly how they feel about Rob Zombie. It’s fucking Rob Zombie—no one really likes him, but he’s a little popular and there isn’t really anything to hate him for. He’s just going to do some creepy stuff kind of well and it will be ok.
Like its director, “Halloween” is no more than what one expects when hearing that a creep-core musician-turned-filmmaker just made a remake of a badass 1978 blood/breast/killer classic.
The angle of this remake is interesting, with the focus shifting to silent, huge Michael Myers rather than the original’s nubile babysitter. By following the killer through his incredibly generic horrible childhood, the audience learns to hate his creep stepfather almost as much as the dad from that Twisted Sister video. Myers’ hot stripper mom at work provides great cutaways for a truly poignant scene: the killer as a young boy sits sadly alone on Halloween night, unable to trick or treat because his big sister is blowing Johnny Football upstairs. And that’s where Mr. Zombie’s subtle character play really comes into the picture, and we like totally understand why Michael picks up the sharp blade and fucking kills everyone.
But that’s really the point, isn’t it? Just because this is the MTV version of a bloodied classic doesn’t mean that it has to pull all of its punches. Indeed, the film puts plenty of blood on the floor. A brutal fork killing and a sordid truck stop bathroom encounter gone horribly wrong are among the film’s most memorable moments, but there are plenty more. However, the most appealing aspect of the film is that it tries to put some explanation out there as to why Michael is always wearing that creepy mask. So while it may be overly psycho-drama cliché character development, I do give Mr. Zombie two points for giving that one a shot.
Gore and psychology aside, however, you just can’t remake such a classic movie and expect great reviews. And to be honest, Mr. Zombie doesn’t deserve great reviews. Mr. Zombie, your movie was kind of tight. Make another and I’ll probably see it, too, but I sure as hell won’t have anything else to do that day and it will be a matinee.
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