Being in the best nature to respond to Consulting Editor Eric Lach’s recent review of the new Simian Mobile Disco album, Attack Decay Sustain Release: Mr. Lach, I am horrified to have read your libelous statement that “there are two kinds of electronic music.” Good gentlemanly days, you bourgeois philistine. Everybody knows that there are precisely 67 different types of ELECTRONIC MUSIC®. And you missed at least 10 of them in your review. SMD are first-class composers in the vein of the “skronk bass” school. Further, both members are fervent followers of controversial ELECTRONIC MUSIC® cultist BBSWATTEC (Boom Boom Sound With A Tsi Tsi Every Crotchet) sect.
Rest assured, I have the utmost confidence that SMD did not declare their universal anti-loneliness simply to have a review leave out their dedication to the multitude of ELECTRONIC MUSIC® species. Blast from the vintage clothing store y’ond’er, blog house (as it is known by only the most secretly initiated of insiders ? chew on it!!!!!11) has come for the children. All is Great Keg Harvest Moon Five Season in ELECTRONIC MUSIC®.
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