Over the past two years as a Wes student few things have been as important in forming my identity as my mailbox number, 4115. I felt that this number quantified my character in ways that other numbers did not. 4204, my room number, is too even, with its zero implying nullity. My WESID, 654690, while closer to capturing “who I am,” falls short in its redundant 6’s and not to mention its jarring 6-9 juxtaposition. Indeed, only 4115 truly sums up who I am.
Furthermore, sharing this box with Ms. Elena S. Bertocci is an experience that changed my life for the better. Though I never really met Ms. Bertocci—excepting the one time when she overheard me complain about the frequency she checks her box relative the number of cute cards she receives—I truly feel that by reading her letters through their envelopes I got to know Elena.
Yet, today, in a move that has shaken me to my core, the administration has unilaterally deprived me of my precious 4115. I received an infuriating letter from Ms. Lisa Davis in my mailbox today. While the letter was, I’m sure, well-intentioned and sincere, it clearly lacked any considerations for the feelings of students such as myself—students who love their box.
I believe the only appropriate remedy is to halt to construction on the Suzanne Lemberg Usdan University Center and begin demolition immediately. Life will return to normal and I will continue to have my box. Furthermore, I propose that rather than using our change of address cards to provide our new addresses, we use them to reaffirm the address that is so much part of our identities. I for one will be letting Cosmopolitan and Good Housewife know that they can continue to reach me at 222 Church St, Box 4115.
P.S. You didn’t think I would give you my real WESID, did you?
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