Duel and/or die

Dear Greg Dubinsky,

You have disgraced my honor and my family, and their family before them, and I challenge you to a duel sir! Twelve noon on the Wednesday we return from the break of Fall. Of course, there will be no touching of the hair or face. And that’s it! May your children never live to see this day.

Yours Truly,
(Kisses),
El Capitan