Dear computer-hogging-videogame-playing-self-absorbed-profanity-spouting-ultra-cool technophiles,
I do not even know what game it is that you play that takes priority over everyone else’s work, but I hope it is fun. Actually, it had better be amazing considering the headaches you cause people who come into HAS lab, PAC lab, ST lab, or hell, even the Sci Li, to do work, and find you playing your magnificent game. I am cheered by the colorful graphics (just before I have a grand mal seizure) as I enter any lab that you have chosen to take over for the evening, or afternoon, or morning, and I scan the room for a computer. There is never a computer, because you like to play video games in packs. I’m glad that such a reclusive, completely inane, brain-numbing experience can also be social. Also, if I do miraculously find a computer, I love to hear, “ASSHOLE” “FUCK” “SHIT” “BALLS” every five seconds as I try to type my paper. That really adds to the whole academic experience. I’m sorry that your quest to reach level 8,000 with whatever pokemon-like character you are currently identifying with is such a stressful experience. May I suggest some counseling?
Seriously, stop using the computers to play games. It makes you look four and it makes everyone else mad. Just stop.
P.S. I hope you get to level abagillionjillionquadrillion and win.
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