The Argus has intercepted part of an Instant Messaging Conversation between Dean of the College Maria Cruz-Saco and President of the College Doug Bennet:
XxXLatinaPrincessXxX (10: 02 am): doug, there is a bat in my office. WTF?
BadBoyDouggieB (10:03 am): LOL! calm down maria, physcalplntcomfix.
XxXLatinaPrincessXxX (10:03 am): must u mumble even when ur typing???
BadBoyDouggieB(10: 04 am): STFU d00d, brb
BadBoyDouggieB (10: 20 am): k
BadBoyDouggieB (10:21 am): wait, brb
BadBoyDouggieB (10:35 am): k
BadBoyDouggieB (10:35 am): actually, brb
BadBoyDouggieB (10:48 am): dood…I think I have one of those diseases going around.
XxXLatinaPrincessXxX (10:49 am): LOL! sux 2 b u.
XxXLatinaPrincessXxX (10:50 am): crap. brb.
XxXLatinaPrincessXxX (10:59 am): yeah… i got it too.
BadBoyDouggieB (11:00 am): did you just hear gunshots?
XxXLatinaPrincessXxX (11:10 am): what do you say we both resign?
XxXLatinaPrincessXxX (11:11 am): this place is goin to hell in a handbasket.
BadBoyDouggieB (11:12 am): yeah i can go consult with Cunard or something.
XxXLatinaPrincessXxX: (11:13 am): WTF? timothy is trying to sell me meth again.
BadBoyDouggieB (11:14 am): i thought he was in jail.
BadBoyDouggieB (11:19 am): maria, you still there?
AutoResponse from XxXLainaPrincessXxX: i’m away from my computer b/c i resigned.
BadBoyDouggieB (11:19 am): maria, you still there?
BadBoyDouggieB (11:20 am): maria, you still there?
BadBoyDouggieB (11:22 am): maria, you still there?
BadBoyDouggieB (11:27 am): maria, you still there?
BadBoyDouggieB (11:28 am): maria, you still there?
BadBoyDouggieB (11:28 am): maria, you still there?
BadBoyDouggieB (12:12 pm): maria, you still there?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:15 pm): maria, you still there?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): anyone?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): hello?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): i’m scared and it’s late.
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): wtf?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): maria?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): damn.
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): marcia?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): maryann?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): judith?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): manny?
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): this is creepy.
BadBoyDouggieB (03:19 am): i’m resigning.
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