Here at the Argus, we are committed to ensuring that no voices on our campus are silenced. For this issue, then, we are focused on listening to those from whom we hear the least: the oft-maligned but historically important white, Anglo-Saxon Protestants, with whose hard work this country was founded. We love to celebrate overlooked and oppressed cultures at this school, and that’s just great, but who is there left to lionize the white, straight men who make this country great? WASPs deserve their historical due, and in honor of People’s Awareness Mont—which we assume includes all people, cinluding WASP—we are doing our small part. Because Wespeaks have historically been used as outlets for oppressed minorities to speak out, we have created the WASPeak as a safe space for WASPs to speak their minds at last. Plus it’s a hilarious pun, and we love nothing more than a good pun.
WASPeak #1
By Allison Jessica Brookfield
I have taken the time to type this letter to inform you that my pearl necklace was lost during the last meeting of the Wesleyan Yachting Club. This is very upsetting to me as my Wesleyan Polo Club outfit is incomplete without this said necklace. I believe I lost it sometime after sipping my iced tea, and before retrieving my seersucker blazer. If anyone finds my necklace, please tell my maid, as I will be out playing lacrosse.
– Brookfield is far too rich and white to be anywhere but Yale.
WASPeak #2
By Katherine Hasty Rich
Every time I open my mouth it’s a WASPeak. This is pretty redundant.
– Rich is a member of the Class of 2006 and a descendant of Richard Rich, a lawyer who came to America on the Mayflower. Seriously.
WASPeak #3
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….bzzzzzzzzzzzz….bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…bzzzz.
– Wasp is a common name applied to most species of hymenopteran insects (see Hymenoptera), except bees and ants.
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