Hi. Um, yeah, I’ve never done anything like this before. And this entire semester spent inside the Argus office has made me a little socially awkward, but I still want to meet you! I like watching movies, trips to the beach, vegetarian food… well, at least I did until I started working here. Now I don’t know what I want. Really, I’m lost. Can you find me?
I’m only here on Thursdays, so that means I have plenty of free time Monday nights to make all your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. Unlike those other Argus losers. If you call me, you won’t regret it- who else are you gonna do on Monday? If you really prefer Thursdays, call anyways. I’m easily persuaded…or just easy.
I get the pizza like in your favorite porno. I’ll edit your pain away. I’ll splice your comma. I’ll place your modifier. I’ll wespeak sweet nothings in your ear. And, I’m only here late every third issue. Let me make you my issue, baby.
Working at the Argus has hindered my dating life just a bit, causing me to be single, but I like women, I’m a pretty funny guy, and I have a big dick. I enjoy going to parties, watching movies, having fun, being adventurous, and going for walks on the beach when it’s warm outside. I am looking for an attractive college-aged girl with a warm personality who enjoys having fun.
So working for the Argus has its perks, like the sweet-ass secret handshake, but (so far) it hasn’t enabled me to shake hands with Mrs. Right. Yes ladies, my standards require you to be married. Or single!
I am the closest thing Wesleyan has to royalty… Yes, that’s right, I choose the Wesceleb. Queen Wesceleb is what they call me. You good to me, and I make you campus hotshot. Plus, I’m probably stronger than you, but some guys think that’s sexy. I collect Pez Dispensers. Seeking fellow collector of sorts.
Single white humor page editor seeks same. Yeah, Nat, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for a long time. When we first met this morning, we were just friends. But things change. And I’ve fallen in love with you. I just know if you gave me the chance, I could make you feel so good. Call me, baby. Single white humor page editor seeks same. Yeah, Nat, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for a long time. When we first met this morning, we were just friends. But things change. And I’ve fallen in love with you. I just know if you gave me the chance, I could make you feel so good. Call me, baby.
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