You are in charge of allocating money for Dining Services- another revamping of the Campus Center to make it even more RFOCtastic, and another massive restaging of all food products in Weshop. Where do you cut corners to lessen the blow to the wallet?
a) Covertly remove all large orange juice containers, forcing students to purchase multiple small ones.
b) Stock Weshop with produce from last semester. Waste not, want not.
c) Order food made in Indonesian sweatshops.
d) Redefine “Real,” “Food,” and “On.”
e) Change eating facility hours so food can be purchased only between the hours of 4:54 AM and 4:59 AM on Tuesday morning. Paychecks for dining service workers can be picked up Sunday evenings at 3:89 PM, if employees can scale the danger wall, traverse the rabid badger pit, and defeat the Doom Swordsman of Aramark within the allotted time.
f) All of the above. Except e: The Doom Swordsman is employed by the University, not Aramark.
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