1. Get ingredients.
2. Put dry ingredients in mixing bowl. Get out greased pan. Heat water in a pot.
3. Live under oppressive communist regime in which members of your family are taken into the streets and shot.
4. Once water is boiling, add noodles.
5. Make transition from communism to isolationist capitalism. Work in an American-run sweatshop from the age of 9 to 18.
6. Get new ingredients that are not nine years old.
7. Mix ingredients, serve while still hot. Or Order out.
P.S. General Tso is not a real general. Nor is he a piece of chicken. But if he were, he’d be delicious. He’s like Cap’n Crunch, who is also a fictitious military figure and not a piece of chicken. But still delicious.
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