Bon Appétit, our glorious campus food service, prides itself on its vast menu, which the company claims caters to all walks of life. To test this claim, The Argus had its most idiotic meat-eating reporter — yours truly — go vegan in order to critique the food.
For five long days, I ate two vegan meals from either the Usdan Campus Center, or, preferably, Summerfields. Now, as I look back on my log of events, I see that the most consistent entries are, “salt must go on everything” and “why does tofu have no flavor?”
Almost immediately I found that my little experiment, which I knew would be difficult, was more ambitious than I expected. On my first day, Tuesday, Oct. 30, the miso mushroom soup from Summerfields was not only bland, but also lacked any sign of miso. The main course, tofu tortillas, was the most tasteless, awkward dish ever conceived by a human being. Tofu, undercooked carrots, and sweet potatoes (at least I think they were sweet potatoes) should never go together. Salt was — once again — the savior of the meal.
The next day, Oct. 31, I was starving. My body wasn’t used to the utter lack of calories, and so I devoured a Summerfields BBQ tempeh wrap for lunch. Due either to malnutrition or an adapting body, my notes have the wrap down as “not bad, a little bland, but it’s alright.” This is shortly followed by, “They need to work on the unnatural texture. I know I’m not eating meat, but it would be nice for them to humor us.”
Two days in, my friend Mike Kurth ’11 and I felt weak and tired. Mike was masochistic enough to join me in my endeavor, and so we vented to each other about the horrors of vegan dining. If it weren’t so absurd, we would have called in vegan to class that day.
On Friday, we decided to check out Usdan’s lunch selection. After I looked at the ambiguous platter beyond the glass counter of the vegan section, I decided that I would just go for a salad. Of course, all the best dressings contain mayonnaise, so I was stuck with plain salad topped with — wait for it — salt. Though I was losing weight rapidly, and I had a headache that just wouldn’t go away, I seemed indifferent to the fact that I was raising my blood pressure to unsafe levels.
Mike was smarter. He ignored the less-than-pleasing aesthetic of the vegan counter and ate it anyway.
“The vegan chili was good,” he said. “But the rice meant for vegans was terrible. Soy sauce saved it all.”
Once again, a high-sodium condiment saves the day.
Luckily, Bon Appétit’s vegan options were redeemed on the final night of my challenge. Friday’s fried tofu with sweet and spicy sauce at Summerfields was better than most non-vegan dishes I’ve had on campus. My friends even enjoyed it more than their chicken and beef dishes, and I managed to eat the entire thing without adding a single grain of salt. For the first time in days, I was both full and satisfied.
As I would eventually learn, one’s body gets used to the vegan diet, and it is suggested that one have more than the usual three meals per day in order to acclimate to vegan food. Unfortunately, class kept me from any extra meals.
On the whole, my conclusion was a simple one: the vegans here must really believe in what they do, because more often than not, the food is horrible. In terms of strict comparison, Summerfields offered a better vegan selection than Usdan, though this doesn’t say much.
Of course, I must be fair. Weshop and WesWings have amazing — yet somewhat pricey — vegan options, but I limited my critique to Bon Appétit’s pre-made food facilities: Usdan and Summerfields. Had Weshop and WesWings factored in, I would have hailed the quality of the food, but probably would have criticized the price.
It’s a shame that the vegans on campus need to spend an excessive number of points if they wish to dine well. I have to admire a group of people so strong in their convictions that they are willing to put up with what can only be called food substitute.
As for me, I’ve already gained back the lost weight in late night chicken fingers, and — barring any unexpected epiphanies — I will never become a vegan again. They simply have it too tough.
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