Dear Wesleyan community,
This column is first in response to the recent rash of homophobia that will probably go unpunished because of hate crime’s ability to instill fear, silence and powerlessness in its survivors; second in response to people downplaying the effects of hate crimes; and third in recognition of National Coming Out Day.
Dear homophobes in (and out of…) Clark,
I bet you’re really upset that people are telling you what to think here. I bet you’re really pissed off that someone is making you act a certain way. I bet you’re really frustrated that people think they can tell you what to do. Whine, whine, whine. Well, if you haven’t fucking noticed, that’s how I’ve spent 21 years of my life. The society you miss is the society that rejects me and my way of life. Doesn’t it at all upset you that you fit so neatly into the mold of a homophobe? Doesn’t it annoy you that you’re just a cookie-cutter heterosexual who can’t see past his own nose? Doesn’t it ever occur to you to think about what life might be like from a perspective other than your own? Apparently you don’t. Well, being gay may be a distant cry from your world view, so pay attention.
Dear freshmen,
I know the first semester is hard, but wake up! If you can report something, please report it! I know, you don’t want to mess up your social group. Your homophobic friends are the only friends you have right now and they’re important, but only up to the point that they prove their interest in learning. Tell them they’ve had their freebie and you’re not going to tolerate any more bullshit. There are so many people at Wes for you to be friends with. While it may feel right now that you’ll isolate and alienate yourself if you turn someone in, you won’t. I promise there are cool people to be friends with you.
Dear frightened LGBT non-queers who advocate against “frightening” the homophobes,
Congratulations on letting the homophobes win. You don’t want any “abrasive” techniques because you’re afraid of alienating those people who you want so desperately to help. Those people who commit hate crimes that is—those people who frighten us, who make us want to be normal and acceptable, who slash our tires and simultaneously our egos, who dominate our lives and rip away our safety. Why aren’t you looking to help the people who are the brunt of hate crimes? You could be next.
I’m not willing to turn my back on queers. I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I’m not acceptable or normal. Your view that we need to “approach these bad people gingerly and non-judgmentally so they can learn from their mistakes” demonstrates your implicit permission for them to criticize us, to hate us, to attack us. You say, “I do not approve of you queers acting ‘in your face.’” What you’re really saying is, “I wish I were normal. I hate myself, so it makes sense for these people to criticize and hate us.” You are another reason that hate is allowed to exist; that hate flourishes inside of our own communities.
You think, “God, it must be really upsetting that we radical queers are acting so abnormal! We must really hate ourselves to give them more opportunity to hate us!” Here’s my response: We’re sick of being hated alone, and the result of this is that we are hated as a group, but at least we’ve gotten someone’s attention and proved our allegiance and solidarity. This campus is a haven not because it is an “idyllic diversity university dreamland where everyone loves each other.” Rather, it has the potential to be so because we’re a conglomerate group who can find strength in each other, because this university has a responsibility to protect us (unfortunately its follow-through has only been an e-mail from North College…), and because these fuckers can get expelled for hate crimes and then we never have to see them again.
And do not write a Wespeak telling me that education is good. I know that. But we need to back up our words with action. We need to couple our education with “in your faceness” because we need to show that we love ourselves, EVERYTHING about ourselves, so that others can learn to love us too. No, I am not just theoretical language of “butt sex, dildos, homosexuality and rimming.” I am someone who wants to be myself prominently and conspicuously because my being is silenced and rejected.
Oh, and in case you haven’t noticed yet, look around at who’s reading this article. It’s not the homophobes. As much as you’d like to pretend that they have good intentions and a willingness to learn about queers, they’re ignoring us. They’re attacking us. The best response to shit being fucked up is to fuck shit up.
Dear homophobes,
Oh no, I’m not done with you yet. Coming Out Day was yesterday, so I have more to add. You know how gay guys are always saying things like, “Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m hitting on you! Don’t worry, straight male, I’m not checking you out.” These gays are lying to you. I will never say that. I will not apologize for being gay. I am checking you out; I am admiring your butt in the locker room; I am imagining rubbing my hands along your body when you shower; and I am proud of it—not to mention aroused. I like making you uncomfortable because I’ve spent so much of my life feeling afraid and uncomfortable due to your treatment of me, due to your superficial acceptance of my “lifestyle” but not my sexuality. Come over to mama queer. I promise that your ass won’t be sore for too long if you let me loosen it up.
Dear Michael Andolina,
I’m offended that you only referred to the homophobes as males! What’s that you say? You mean it’s a matter of pure statistical fact that nearly 100 percent of hate crimes are committed by men? Gasp, but why would you target them; it’s not fair! Well, self, my response is this: If you’re offended, then you don’t get it.
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