Upon reading the article in the last Argus, we must say that we fully support the administrative decision to deter underage drinking and couch-burning at Spring Fling through a policy of over-21 wristbands. Underage, drunken furniture pyrotechnics is a campus-wide problem and we find it disrespectful and unacceptable. That said, we do fully endorse furniture burning by drunken people of legal age.
Furthermore, not only do we think that sober people of all ages should take part in sofa torching, we encourage this classic activity as a community building enterprise. Perhaps a “garden area” for sober furniture burners could be constructed to the side of the stage. Or maybe we should just give up on the whole furniture thing. If we can’t burn property, we can at least still burn our own bodies.
We strongly believe in this and urge students, sober or blotto, at any time, to protest undesirable administrative policies in this manner. And for all you over-21’s out on the hill in May, you must shoulder the burden of getting ultra wasted and fucking up more shit than EVER before. Let’s party like rock stars!
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