Dear Martin,
I am writing in response to your letter of Feb 16th. First off, let me thank you for adding to the vibrant intellectual dialogue that is a distinctive and valuable aspect of the Wesleyan experience. This dialogue is one important facet of the institution’s ideology. The academic atmosphere that this ideology engenders is the crowning achievement of the institution. Wesleyan …
… the building into a synagogue.
Establish the Michael Roth School of Business.
Establish the Martin Benjamin School of Journalism.
Construct an apocalypse shelter for 2012.
Turn it into a new location for Bend It At Beckham.
Build an indoor farm.
Create a Plan B dispenser.
Construct a Zoo.
Transform into the new Argus office.
… So, we’re a little sketchy on the details, but if we’re reading his last Wespeak right, Martin Benjamin has become a god. So while They made mincemeat of the last conservative commentator they encountered, They just weren’t prepared for Benjamin’s divine rhetoric. Winner: Benjamin
Mamoun’s v. Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift sure was fearless after her upset of Britney in the first round, but there was no white horse to save her from Mamoun’s skillful use of …
Martin Benjamin v. Mamoun’s
Martin Benjamin has showed more grit during this tournament than anyone predicted: for a creepy old guy, he can sure wield a brick, a Molotov cocktail, and a cunning rhetorical device. Not to mention that he recently declared himself a deity. But when it came down to it, Martin seemed to loose his fire, as his hunger to win was literally satiated by Mamoun’s …
… on Glenn Beck. Meanwhile, petrified with fear, Glenn Beck soiled himself. Winner: Them
Martin Benjamin v. Mytheos Holt
Martin Benjamin was too much for Mytheos Holt, especially when it came to blows—for an older gentleman, Benjamin sure can deliver a brick to the face. And while Mytheos has essentially indestructible verbal defenses, this was decidedly not the case physically. Winner: Martin Benjamin
Late Night v. Mamoun's
Mamoun’s won because of broad popular …
Martin Benjamin v. Them
As in the first round, expect Them to quickly and easily devour Martin Benjamin. The flesh of one innocent, God-fearing American could never satiate Them, and Martin Benjamin, despite his wily defeat of Mytheos, is no exception. Argus Pick: Them.
Taylor Swift v. Mamoun's
Despite a valiant effort, Taylor Swift won’t be able to carry her Cinderella run into …
Dear Mr. Vahidi,
The Argus is fast becoming the gift that keeps on giving. Last Friday’s issue bestowed upon me your brief no-brainer: “Oh my god shut up” (“Response to Benjamin ’57,” Apr. 10, 2009, Vol. CXLV , No. 14).
In Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar,” Cassius conveys your exalted feelings and choler sublime with cool aplomb: “And this man is now become …
Anyone who’s ever read a Wespeak by famed Wesleyan curmudgeon Martin Benjamin ’57 probably wouldn’t peg him as the “sensitive artist type.” For the last decade or so, the University alum and current Middletown resident has been infuriating and amusing students – not to mention professors and certain University presidents – with a steady stream of conservative rants on topics ranging from incorrect punctuation to Obama’s terrorist leanings. …
In seeking to summon up a coherent response to the Wespeak by Martin Benjamin ’57 featured in the Nov. 7 Argus (“Open letter to President Roth,” Volume CXLIV, Number 18), I decided to do a Google search for the terms “Martin Benjamin” and “Wesleyan University.” What I found came as no surprise, and I believe that I should remind the Wesleyan community of some of Mr. Benjamin's past writings for the Argus.
My thanks to Lisa Eisenberg …
… an open mind about things” and conforming to the norms or the “Orwellian Groupthink,” as Martin Benjamin ’57 discusses in his April 4 “Open Letter to President Roth” (Volume CXLIII, Number 37).
Comparing Old Wes with the Wesleyan of today, Benjamin raises the point that “Today, instead of ’Be yourselves!' the tune is ’ DON 'T be yourselves!'” He alludes to Frosh “Disorientation” week's force-feedings of liberal indoctrination masked as diversity training. …