I am proud to say that I am an energy drink connoisseur. I definitely drink a lot of them: maybe around one or two a day for the past two and half years. They help me get work done, push me to work out, and are just a good drink to have overall. Recently, I have been doing some research to find the best energy drink on campus. I have definitely wasted a majority of my points on these drinks that “shorten your life expectancy,” as my mother would say.

I have had them all and am always in search of the next new flavor or brand being introduced to school, a recent example being the sherbet flavor of Reign: a highly caffeinated brand with high carbonation. For me, these drinks are akin to an average Wesleyan student’s coffee. Although I am ashamed to admit it, energy drinks are an essential part of my life. 

So, why does this all matter? Well, I want to take this time rank these drinks—or at least my top three favorite ones—not only to appreciate the beverages themselves, but also to inform my fellow students. How else will those who are looking for a late pick-me-up know which one is the best?

First, let me introduce the criteria. I have chosen to rank these drinks using four metrics: flavor, overall taste, branding, and caffeine amount. I think that these four properties can assist in determining what is the best flavor on campus and remove some of my personal biases. I am sure that some individuals will care to disagree but, nonetheless, here are my ratings as an avid energy drinker for the past two and half years. 

Starting off at number three on the list is any flavor of Red Bull available on campus (specifically the basic version and sugar free). The only reason I included Red Bull on my list is due to the numerous quantity of them on campus. Red Bull drinks are usually not that great in the flavor department; the company makes flavors from blueberry to coconut, which seems appealing until you find out that they also pack the drink with 40 grams of sugar. To be honest, the variety of flavors is the only thing holding Red Bull on this list. Second, the taste of Red Bull is decent at best. I would not say that it is good or bad, but rather just pretty bland with a very strong acidic taste. Thirdly, Red Bull branding is pretty good. The ads and looks of their cans are nice, but the proportions that they offer are terrible. Lastly, the caffeine is okay in these drinks. For more than the average energy drink you get less than the average amount of caffeine, which is why I would place Red Bull at a 4.5 out of 10.

At number two, I have the Monster Zero Ultra. At first, this drink seems like it would have a weird flavor to it: after all how should a white colored Monster taste exactly? Even though this may throw off some potential drinkers, the flavor is perfect. According to a popular caffeine blog, the taste is loved by all because it is neither very strong nor very weak. The Zero Ultra is a perfect balance between the two, allowing it to be sort of an everyday drink. This drink is also awesome in terms of branding. Just looking at the can and graphic, Monster does an amazing job of making this drink look like it is about to give the drinker special powers. Lastly, the caffeine content is the only thing that brings the drink down a little. It only has 150 milligrams of caffeine, which would put it above average, but not something one would want to drink to feel “wired.” Overall, I would give the Zero Ultra an 8 out of 10, and it is definitely one I would recommend. 

Lastly, in first place, we have the orange dreamsicle flavor of Reign which can also be found in Weshop. This company has hit the idea of an orange dreamsicle on the head perfectly. The taste works hand in hand with the flavor for a perfect combination, creating an ideal energy drink. It has a sweetness to it while not being too overwhelming. In terms of the marketing, Reign does a decent job of promoting this drink. While I will say that they have great execution in advertising, they do not make the can look very appealing or promote this drink more than their others. Lastly, the caffeine amount is perfect. Whether you want to go to the gym or focus on studying, the 300 milligrams of caffeine will undoubtedly boost. Overall, the orange dreamsicle is head and shoulders above the rest sitting at 9.5 out of 10.

Aris Dashiell can be reached at adashiell@wesleyan.edu.