30,000 BC: First evidence of the Lightening Society, a cave painting of a penis in Southern France.

1740: Chalk left outside of European villages in hopes of “enlightening” the atmosphere and stir shit up. The Church is less than pleased.

1876: Society challenges Freemasons to balloon race around the world to choose U.S. president. Masons win, choose Rutherford B. Hayes.

1920: Society urges Gandhi to be more racist, anti-Semitic, and homophobic in his civil disobedience.

1965: Society crusades for the button fly, making it much more inconvenient to use the bathroom.

1980: Society campaigns to end the caulking ban on campus. While they fail, leaving the ban in place to this day, for some time sidewalks are crack free.

2006: Lightening Society leaves chalk outside of dorm rooms at Wesleyan University.

2007: Society inadvertently causes a nationwide reactionary backlash, leaving millions dead.