All I Want For Christmas

– To come down off of Adderall.
– To be able to carry on a conversation about the Pixies for more than 10 seconds without wanting to stab myself in the eye.
– The nine dollars I spent on “Rent” back. Okay, eighteen dollars.
– For someone to explain to me what the hell the “grey area” is.
– Alleviation of white guilt.
– My parents to love me even though I ate pussy (it was only three times, okay?)
– To find ninjas and/or pirates interesting.
– My period to come. Fuck.