Deep thoughts and feminine frocks abounded on Sunday evening, as the famous and the semi-famous gathered at the Beverly Hilton for the 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards. As always, the celebs had a lot to say, and we, as their fans, were primarily concerned with how little they were wearing.
The celebrity worldview, in various incarnations, was vocalized multiple times throughout the night. While Joan and Melissa Rivers descended upon the stars per usual, fellow vulture Lisa Ling put a more global spin on her red-carpet remarks. Ling, who recently vacated “The View” in favor of more intellectual pursuits, reminded us that while “the world is so divided in so many ways, the one thing we can all agree on is our mutual love and admiration for Tom Cruise.” Look out, Kofi Annan, if he can run a prostitution ring out of his parents’ suburban home, he can certainly bring about world peace.
Among the other poster-children for international relations were a pair of Brits and an Afghani. Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson (apparently endless Weight Watchers commercials qualify her as a member of the television community) was highly complimentary of the people of the United States, claiming that we have “given her her life back.” Ricky Gervais, on the other hand, was slightly less sentimental as he accepted the award for Best Actor in a Television Comedy for his role in HBO’s “The Office.”
“I’m from a little place called England,” Gervais explained. “We used to run the world before you.”
Siddiq Barmak, director of “Osama,” made an eloquent speech as he accepted the award for Best Foreign Language Film.
“They’d better not cut off the guy from Afghanistan,” a friend of mine aptly warned, just before the rap music began to play.
Further celebrity musings ranged in topics from the dangers of fear to the dangers of Bush; while “Soldier’s Girl” star Troy Garity proclaimed that “fear leads to bad situations,” perennial favorite Meryl Streep knocked the President’s recent State of the Union address.
“I don’t think that the two biggest problems in America are that too many people want to commit their lives to each other till death do us part, and steroids in sports.”
While I agreed with Meryl, I couldn’t get past the fact that she wasn’t wearing a slip – and there it was: the primary fallacy of celebrity activism. If we, the television viewers, male or female, can clearly see the outline of your thighs, it’s difficult to follow the outline of your lips.
This is not to say that star power and sociopolitical debate are inherently mismatched; many an important cause has benefited from celebrity endorsement. Take Kim Basinger and the animal rights movement, for example, or Elizabeth Taylor’s AIDS-related fundraising efforts. Nevertheless, there is a time and place for such bold statements of opinion. Even Michael Moore’s lambaste of Bush at last year’s Oscars seemed out of place – and, more importantly, it took away from the social importance of “Bowling for Columbine’s” win.
Hollywood personalities should reconsider the popular practice of awards show preaching, not for reasons of propriety, but in the interest of efficacy. Directly, they are speaking to an audience dominated by celebrities, who not only tend toward similar political affiliations, but also are rarely affected by political decisions or changes in social thought. Indirectly, they are speaking to millions of television viewers, yes – but we’re tuning in for the glitz, the glam and the drama, not for the stimulating intellectual debate.
And so, for the sake of honesty, we turn to what really mattered on Sunday night: who wore what, who won what, and who came with whom. Nicole Kidman, Best Actress nominee for her work in “Cold Mountain,” was not a winner, but was still the talk of the red carpet in a cut-down-to-where golden sheath, a cheesy move in my book, given the name of the show (this isn’t the first time that she’s played match-the-statue either; the Christian Dior number that she wore to the 2000 Academy Awards was eerily reminiscent of Oscar himself). Thankfully, Tom Cruise – the aforementioned glue that holds us all together – did not win Best Actor for his role in “The Last Samurai.” Had he won, Kidman would have presented the award herself, Golden Globe-themed dress and all – and we would have witnessed one of the more awkward moments in awards-show history.
Next to Nicole, the most talked about ladies were Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Catrall, Kristen Davis and Cynthia Nixon, the fabulous foursome from HBO’s “Sex and the City”. As usual, Parker proved second only to her television alter-ego Carrie Bradshaw in fashion failure, this time a member of the ballerina posse that seemed to attack the red carpet. Elisha Cuthbert and Diane Keaton sported similar poufs around the hemlines of their outfits (quite a feat for Keaton, who was wearing a suit). Kim Catrall and Kristen Davis were gorgeous in flowing, pale-colored dresses, while Cynthia Nixon had bright-red extensions so reminiscent of Jeff Foxworthy’s mullet that her dress was an afterthought. Sadly, while all four ladies and the show itself were nominated for a Globe, only Parker took a statue home.
Another crowd favorite snubbed by the Hollywood Foreign Press was “Will & Grace”. The show continued its losing streak, as its producers and all four main actors, Eric McCormack, Debra Messing, Megan Mullaly and Sean Patrick Hayes, walked away empty-handed. Debra Messing looked ravishing nonetheless in an Izaac Mizrahi gown that flattered her pregnant belly and showed off her “bust” assets – similar to the assets that Mary-Louise Parker was reportedly paid $1,000 to “thank her newborn son for.”
Fashion “dos” included Charlize Theron in butter-colored Dior, re-beautified after her Globe-winning role in “Monster,” and Uma Thurman in dramatically draped Versace. Fashion “don’ts” included JLo, who, fresh off the breakup with Bennifer, went warrior-princess in a tangerine Michael Kors. Equally disturbing was Johnny Depp, who looked far better in his pirate duds that in his black/brown disaster of a suit.
There were few upsets among the major awards; Peter Jackson and his “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” team was awarded the dual honor of Best Director and Best Drama, as expected. The film did not, however, garner any writing or acting nominations (maybe that’s why I fell asleep; yes, I have lost friends for making such comments); these awards went most notably to Bill Murray and Sophia Coppola, who were awarded Best Actor and Best Screenplay respectively for “Lost in Translation.”
Such was the glamour and the drama of the 2004 Golden Globes, and glamour and the drama, like it or not, are why we tune in and stay tuned.
Leave a Reply