c/o Wesleyan Athletics

Jeffrey Gilarde served as the men’s golf coach at the University and as a staple in the Biology Department for over thirty-five years. Many students on campus probably did not know who he was, but I did and was even privileged enough to call him Coach. I could talk about his exceptionally funny personality and what a great outstanding man he was; however, I don’t think that it would do him justice. Instead, I want to spend the rest of this article talking about my team’s favorite memories of him.

For starters, Coach loved to talk. It did not matter what it was about. He would chat about anything with anyone for as long as he could. We could be out on the golf course and he would be chatting to us about his favorite types of pasta and the last time he had each one. You couldn’t help but crack up at the fact that he’d start the most random conversations. He would discuss favorite vacation spots, different golf courses he’d played, or the best shows to watch on TV. You name it, he’d talk to you about it. The conversations with Coach made even the toughest practices feel bearable. The men’s golf team will miss those chats with you, Coach.

If you were lucky enough to meet Coach, you would know that he was full of stories from his numerous life experiences. These stories didn’t disappoint. One time, he told us about the time that he went on a trip to Mexico and the tour bus driver got too drunk to drive their group back to the hotel. Everyone panicked and thought that they would not be able to get back to their lodgings, but not Coach. Little did anyone know, but coach Gilarde had a commercial driver’s license and was accustomed to operating large vehicles. He took the wheel and drove everyone home. After hearing that story, I never doubted his ability to get us to and from our matches. Another time, he told the team that he was the high jumping state champion of Vermont in high school and competed at the Division I level at the University of Connecticut. All of us were surprised to find out that he was an elite athlete before his life at Wesleyan. “The man with unlimited stories” always knew when to tell us a tale of his eventful life. The men’s golf team will miss your countless anecdotes, Coach.

Although the competitive nature of the golf team sometimes created a stressful environment, Coach was a jokester. On and off the course, coach Gilarde always looked for ways to lighten the mood. Whether it was about something that happened to him at work or a shot that was just hit, he never failed to find a way to make us laugh. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even try to be funny. One occurrence always comes to mind when I think about his unintentional comedy. It was the spring of my freshman year, and I had just finished class for the day. I got back to my dorm in Nics to see an email from Coach to the whole team. The email began with the words “I need you.” I couldn’t contain my laughter. Of course, Coach was talking about needing us to get COVID tested and the email was merely a typo, but the unintended line became an instant inside joke among team members. The men’s golf team will miss your impeccable comedic timing, Coach.

Finally and most importantly, coach Gilarde was an excellent role model and mentor. He was always willing to listen and offer advice, and all of us knew that we could count on him to be there for us—no matter what. Sometimes, it would be the little pieces of advice that Coach would give us when we were in competition. He would tell us to appreciate the moment and enjoy nature. He constantly said how lucky we were to enjoy our weekends playing the beautiful game of golf at such breathtaking courses. Coach kept us grounded. It was the small gestures like stopping at the Donut Dip for breakfast on the way to our matches or having food ready for us in the van after a long round. On top of that, when we would get to tournaments, Coach was very talkative and popular with the other coaches. He was an exemplary model of how to live life. He taught us how to enjoy life for the little things and how to create long-lasting friendships. Coach had a heart of gold. It is going to be hard to walk onto a tee box and not see him behind me. I can’t express how lucky I am to have had you in my life.

Rest in peace, coach Gilarde, and thank you for the memories. We can only strive to be like you.

Michael Dolce can be reached at mdolce@wesleyan.edu.