Happy Valentine’s Day, folks! It’s the ideal romantic season to do something special for the one you love the most. Alternatively, if you’re not currently romantically involved (like me), you can live vicariously through your favorite couples in your beloved books or movies. I’ve read and watched a lot of sappy stuff over the years, and I’ll be drawing upon my wealth of experience to present my favorite and least favorite themes, tropes, and plot points commonly found in romantic comedies. These are my opinions, so if one of my thorns smells rosy to you, that’s okay. It’s all relative, baby. Without further ado, here are my roses and thorns for the romantic comedy genre, compiled especially for all you aspiring rom-com writers:

ROSE: Fleshed-out side characters. Enough with the token characters who exist solely to give the main character poignant advice and be seen as sassy. Give us a bestie with a life, a struggle, a personality, anything! Also, a little side romance never hurt anybody….

THORN: Miscommunication. I’m being so serious right now. It’s 2023. I don’t want to see a central romantic conflict that could have been solved in one text message. This is the easiest way to immediately get me to tune out of a story.

ROSE: Grand romantic gestures. I know what you’re thinking. They’re so unrealistic. In real life, that’d be creepy. But this isn’t real life; it’s a romantic comedy, and there’s no ending more satisfying than watching our protagonist get swept off their feet in the cheesiest way possible.

THORN: Cheating. There are no circumstances under which I’ll be rooting for a romance that starts with one of the lovers in a committed relationship with someone else. Sorry, but I won’t support the love story if I don’t like the characters, and I absolutely hate cheaters.

ROSE: Cameos. Nothing is more fun than seeing a celebrity that I wasn’t expecting in a rom-com, a la Pete Davidson in “Set It Up” (2018). A word of caution: don’t overdo it or you’ll end up like “Valentine’s Day” (2010). Keep it classy.

THORN: Montages. What a waste of screen time. We all know that time is passing and the relationship is developing. Every minute of montage is a minute that could have moved the plot forward in a more meaningful, character-driven way.

ROSE: Coming of age. I always find a story more interesting if the protagonist learns something about themselves or the world around them on their journey to love. It makes every ending feel like a new beginning.

THORN: High school. I’m not saying that people don’t have great love stories in high school. However, given the usual sexual overtones of romantic comedy, it can get sort of uncomfortable to see adults playing teenagers getting hot and heavy on screen. My rule is that if it’s not absolutely necessary for the story to occur in high school, set it in college instead.

ROSE: Plot twists. I pride myself on being able to predict the ending or resolution to major plot points in any given rom-com. Very few have been able to surprise me, but I’m always happy to take on a challenge.

THORN: Lonely protagonists. There is nothing more cringeworthy than a protagonist who is desperate for romance. Finding that perfect partner is just one small aspect of a life full of opportunities for other forms of love, happiness, and fulfillment. Furthermore, it is way more satisfying to follow a character who finds love when they least expect it.

ROSE: Sad endings. While seeing a couple ride off into the sunset is fun, some romances are beautiful because we know they must come to an end. After all, there is a reason that “Romeo and Juliet” is both the greatest tragedy and the greatest love story of all time.

THORN: Airports. No more airports! We have seen every airport scenario possible in rom-coms: airport confessions, airport break-ups, airport make-ups, airport kisses, etc. There is no possible way left to twist, turn or subvert this trope. It’s over.

ROSE: Diversity. It’s a shame that the word “rom-com” automatically brings to mind a straight, white couple. We’ve made steps toward better representation in this genre, but there are so many other stories and characters that can be included to expand the reach of romantic comedy.

THORN: Bad trailers. I don’t need to know the entire plot of a movie or a book from its trailer or blurb. For a genre with a reputation for predictability, it would not hurt to leave a little bit to the imagination in the preview. 

ROSE: Animation. Unfortunately, animation has been written off for decades as a medium primarily suited to stories for child audiences. However, it seems like the film industry is finally starting to realize the immense potential of animation. Everyone experiences love differently, and I hope to see animation used to express many beautiful, diverse love stories going forward.

So without further ado, lots of love, happy watching, and most of all, happy Valentine’s Day!

Sulan Bailey can be reached at sabailey@wesleyan.edu.