Maria Gonzalez/Contributing Photographer

You might have a favorite place to dine on campus, but does it really define you? Take this quiz to find out who—or what—you really are.


1. What’s closest to your major?

a. Sociology

b. Philosophy

c. University (that’s right, you answer to no one)

d. American Studies

e. Math


2. What’s your sex life like?

a. You take what you can get.

b. Your standards are high, sometimes detrimentally so.

c. There’s nothing and no one you haven’t done.

d. Mostly monogamous and mostly missionary, but you’ve been known to swing from time to time.

e. Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.


3. Which geographic region appeals to you most?

a. Mid-Atlantic

b. New England

c. Pacific Northwest

d. South

e. Midwest


4. What’s your catchphrase?

a. “How you doin’?”

b. “Old sport.”

c. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

d. “The night is dark and full of terrors.”

e. “You’ve got to ask yourself: Do I feel lucky?”


5. Which club on campus would you be most likely to join?


b. Model U.N.

c. I can’t commit to a club!

d. Sports!

e. WILD Wes


6. What Matt Damon film are you?

a. “Good Will Hunting”

b. “Behind the Candelabra”

c. “We Bought a Zoo”

d. “Saving Private Ryan”

e. “The Bourne Identity”


7. It’s Saturday night during reading period. Where you at?

a. Shit-faced at late night

b. Heckling at WeSlam

c. Getting real experimental at Eclectic

d. DFMO with a rando at a house party

e. Bathroom stall, having a mental breakdown


8. What were you like in high school?

a. You went through lots of phases.

b. Teacher’s pet with a subversive edge.

c. I couldn’t wait to get out of the place. Everyone was so banal.

d. You were voted prom king/queen and won’t let anyone forget it.

e. Mostly well-behaved, but when you acted out, you really acted out.


If you answered mostly A, you are: Usdan

You’re a pretty chill person who goes with the flow, but you’re known to get feisty when it’s merited. Life is an all-you-can-eat buffet, and you’re not afraid to grab what you want. You appreciate the simple things and aren’t one to make a fuss. Some might call you basic, but as far as you’re concerned, you’re as classic as they come.


If you answered mostly B, you are: Star & Crescent:

Is there something that needs your attention? Probably not. You like to take your time, enjoy your life. Would you stoop so low as to settle for the second best? Certainly not. You have a little extra to spend, sure, but you deserve a high quality of life. You earned it, so let others do your work for you.


If you answered mostly C, you are: Weshop

You are large and you contain multitudes. Your character is hard to pin down, but it’s safe to say you’re a big winner. You make valuable contributions to conversations and are chock-full of personality. Friends flock to you in times of need, and you seldom let them down (except on Friday and Saturday after 6 p.m., that is).  That said, you can be pretentious at times. But you’re rad overall, so people are willing to put up with your hippie bullshit.


If you answered mostly D, you are: WesWings

A little grease never killed anybody. We all need a break from the safe and easy once in a while, and your break has lasted years. When it comes to big life decisions, you can’t decide. etter to just throw everything into a pail. Keep on living dangerously.


If you answered mostly E, you are: Summies

Some might call you high-strung, but the truth is that you just have too much on your plate. You’re usually pretty punctual, except when you’re not.  Although you’re an extrovert at heart, you have some insecurities about your standing amongst your peers.  You’re fond of numbers and aren’t afraid to show it.

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