10. Multiculturalism
The great trick of the liberal establishment, this epidemic currently infects more than one million people a year.

9. SARS
Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome never really made it to North America–yet.

8. Colonialism
The great threat of our time.

7. The Plague of Hugs

More and more children are turning to this sickening display of affection, putting their friends and parents in danger. There has been a huge media uproar, which has slowly slowly stemmed the tide in a war we seem unlikely to win.

6. Anthrax
Osama bin Laden currently owns the world’s entire stock of anthrax. Case closed.

5. Swine Flu
WE’RE ALL AT RISK. FLEE FOR OUR LIVES!!!

4. Rainbow Parties
These horrifying creations are due to the collapse of moral America. Much like Kanye West and Lady Gaga, Rainbow Parties represent the worst, most sickening part of our inner psyche.

3. Avian Flu
With a 99.99% fatality rate, this particular virus could spell the downfall of humanity.

2. The War on Christmas

Thanks to the Tea Baggers, we are beginning to fight back against the amoral, anti-Christian liberal media that has conspired to destroy Christmas for all the God-fearing middle-class people.

1. Arsenic in Water
We might already be dead because we’ve been being poisoned for our entire lives…

About Gabe Lezra

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. Ezekiel 25-17.