The great trick of the liberal establishment, this epidemic currently infects more than one million people a year.
Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome never really made it to North America–yet.
The great threat of our time.
7. The Plague of Hugs
More and more children are turning to this sickening display of affection, putting their friends and parents in danger. There has been a huge media uproar, which has slowly slowly stemmed the tide in a war we seem unlikely to win.
Osama bin Laden currently owns the world’s entire stock of anthrax. Case closed.
5. Swine Flu
WE’RE ALL AT RISK. FLEE FOR OUR LIVES!!!
4. Rainbow Parties
These horrifying creations are due to the collapse of moral America. Much like Kanye West and Lady Gaga, Rainbow Parties represent the worst, most sickening part of our inner psyche.
3. Avian Flu
With a 99.99% fatality rate, this particular virus could spell the downfall of humanity.
2. The War on Christmas
Thanks to the Tea Baggers, we are beginning to fight back against the amoral, anti-Christian liberal media that has conspired to destroy Christmas for all the God-fearing middle-class people.
1. Arsenic in Water
We might already be dead because we’ve been being poisoned for our entire lives…