A lightsaber can cut through almost anything ever conceived by any person or sentient being in the entire Universe–in fact, the only thing that it can’t cut through is another lightsaber (or those weird droid-saber things from Episode 3, but that doesn’t affect this particular argument). In fact, a light saber could cut through anyone, anywhere, even if they were Jesus Christ reincarnated to save the human race from a slave-driving sentient machine super-race. It could chop this particular savior up in so many different pieces that even Master Yoda, whose gifts with the force are essentially unparalleled, couldn’t devise how to put him back together–forget humpty-fucking-dumpty, this jerkoff would look like a carton of extra-fine salt. 


But the truth is, it doesn’t really matter how easily Luke Skywalker, arguably the greatest Jedi Knight in the history of the Universe, with the best sidekick of all time (reigning Death Match Champion Han Solo), could beat Neo with a lightsaber. Even if he were disarmed, the power of the force is SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL than anything Neo could ever conceive of–as Luke’s father succinctly puts it, “the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force”–that not only would the battle be over before it began, it would, in fact, be a massive joke, passed down from master to padawan in the hallowed halls of the new Jedi Temple. 


For each of Neo’s skills, Luke has a better response–Neo may be the fastest being ever, but Luke can see the future. It doesn’t matter how fast you are, or how much you can destroy (a planet, for example), the force will always prevail in this battle. The force emanates from all things, it binds us together, flows through us. Simply put, Luke can control this unlimited power, and Neo can’t.


Finally, I would like to raise the important issue of coolness: while Neo clearly wins in terms of style, Luke blows him away in substance. Take their groups of friends, for example: while Morpheus and Han Solo are very similar in terms of awesomeness (though Han still wins), Leia is so much hotter than Trinity (while I grant that Neo does have sex, the point of the Jedi order is to live a life of purity and monasticism. And what’s more badass than monastic purity?), plus, and one word now, CHEWBACCA. No one in the Matrix trilogy compares to the incredibly amazing magnitude of Chewey. And finally, no tangential bad guy in the Matrix is NEARLY as cool as Boba Fett. 


Oh, and Luke doesn’t die at the end. (spoiler alert)

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