5. Tori Amos — “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
You don’t play Chopin on an electric guitar. And you don’t play “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on a piano.

4. Crazy Town — “New Noise”
Refused was a widely influential anarchist hardcore band. The song is a call for innovative music to accompany revolutionary lyrics. Crazy Town was the rap-rock band responsible for “Butterfly.”

3. Hillary Duff — “My Generation” (The Who)
She sings “I hope I don’t die before I get old.” I’m not kidding.

2. Obadiah Parker — “Hey Ya” (OutKast)
Who heard “Hey Ya” and said, “This is a good song, but it should really be more emo?”

1. That version of “One Love” from the Jamaica tourism commercial (Bob Marley).
I don’t know who performed this. But I hope their consciences gnaw at them for every minute of their pathetic lives.