Spring is here and finals are just upon us. Time to evaluate this past semester in all its glory, from the good, to the bad, to the acceptable.

Sour Patch Kids: B-
We know what kind of automotive havoc you’ve wreaked in the past. (Ever see the photo of Jeff Gordon throwing SPKs at Dale Earnhardt?)

Foliage: A
I never realized how much foliage there is in this place. They’re TREEmendous!

Guy who rides Zamboni in Science Center: B+
Be more transparent with your zamboni-ing. We love to watch you work.

Contraceptive Methods: Withdrawl

Unions/Strike breaking: A-
Teddy Roosevelt would be proud of the way we’ve cracked down on union activism. Hey, polio isn’t a real threat anymore.

Muggers: A+
You scare us even when we are inside after dark. We hope you enjoy your lifetime supply of backpacks and Platinum Bank of America debit cards. But please stop punching us in the face.

Jeanine Basinger: 3 &’s out of 4
Thanks for inventing movies! They are fun to watch. But, some of them are very predictable. And/or have Larry the Cable Guy in them.

SEWI: F
The war’s not over.