Saturday, May 3, 2025



Editor’s acceptance speech

Thanks a lot for the (insert award name). It’s about time. Do you know how long I have been waiting for this thing? Well, I shouldn’t be too upset. This is going to change my life. I am immediately going to melt this statue down and sell it on e-bay. I am then going to buy the biggest syringe and the smallest amount of heroin possible. To be honest great contrasts in juxtaposition make me laugh. Oh, do I love to laugh. That’s why I thought Juno sucked. Anyway, I graciously accept this award on behalf of Tom Hanks, who taught us you don’t have to be gay, retarded, and big all at the same time to win an award. But it certainly does help.

– Brendan, Brian, & Gelman

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