I know what you’re thinking. How can this Halloween top last year’s Spooktactular Frightfest where you watched Monster House and ate those candy corns hat look like pumpkins? Well it can! There is spookiness all around you, if you know the right places to look. Just use this little guide to help put your Halloween in perspective.

-Racism- Not spooky
-Racism in a graveyard- SO Spooky

-A kid dressing as a ghost by wearing a bed sheet- Not spooky
-A ghost dressing as a ghost by wearing a bed sheet- Spooky!

-Your parents got divorced and now your mom is dating a guy named Rich. Your mom wants you to be nice to him but you think he drinks too much-Not spooky
-Your parents got divorced and now you mom is dating a guy named Rich. Your mom wants you to be nice to him but you think he drinks too much…blood. Because he’s a vampire! Spooky

-Your would-be fiancée finds some skeletons in your closet- Not spooky
-Your would-be fiancée finds some skeletons in your closet. And calls the police because you killed people! Spooky!

-You arrive at your date’s house on prom night. You dine, dance, and end up in a motel room where you lose your virginity- Not spooky
-You arrive at your date’s house on prom night. You dine, dance, and end up in a motel room where you lose your virginity. But the next morning when you return to her house for the second date, her mother tells you that her child has been dead for thirty years. Then who did you sleep with? Gross…and Spooky!

-Once a month your girlfriend is cranky- Not spooky
-Once a month your girlfriend is a werewolf- Spooky

-Watching Are You Afraid of the Dark? Not spooky
-Watching Are You Afraid of the Dark? in the dark- Spooky

-Listening to “Dancing in the Dark- Not spooky
-Listening to “Dancing in the Dark” in the dark…in a pit in a New Jersey basement where you are forced to keep yourself well moisturized for Bruce Springsteen’s skin suit- Spooky