Within recent issues of the Wesleyan Argus, students have expressed their displeasure with the newspaper as a whole. These students have challenged not only the validity and quality of said periodical, but also the overall intelligence of those who write for it. Most namely I would like to focus on Brittany Mitchell’s Wespeak in the April 24th issue of the Argus (Volume CXLII, Number 42 for those of you who collect the Argus) and Hollie Matlin’s Wespeak in the April 27th issue (Volume CXLII, Number 43).

Before I continue, I would like to point out that I do not know either Miss Mitchell or Miss Matlin and I do not intend for this article to be taken as a personal attack against them. Nor do I want people who agree with their sentiments to interpret what I say as some sort of unfair verbal chastisement. I highlight this disclaimer because I have no tact and, for some reason, people have a tendency to take the things I write very seriously and personally. I would also appreciate it if the Ampersand does not make fun of me for completely selling out and writing a Wespeak.

That being said, I would like to challenge the accuracy of the statement, “the Argus is a very low quality University newspaper.” I do not completely disagree with this statement, for the grammatical errors in the Argus are superfluous, the majority of the articles do not reflect the diverse student body that we enjoy at this institution, and the facts are often incorrect. Besides, they print the sophomoric and blatantly offensive minutia which I call articles on a weekly basis.

However, I think one of the main reasons the Argus is considered to be a “low quality” periodical is because every issue is read closely by the student body and the students think, as they should, in some small way it represents them. I agree that by comparison to nationally sold newspapers it is an abomination, but I can’t say it is in comparison to all universities’ papers. Honestly, how many university newspapers do you read on even a weekly basis? I doubt that you read any at all. I don’t.

When I was the editor of my high school newspaper, I used to read Brown University’s Herald and the University of Rhode Island’s Good Five Cent Cigar (which is a terrible name) on a weekly basis (I am from Rhode Island), and I can tell you that these publications were quite comparable to the Argus. Maybe they have improved over the past two years, but at the time they were marginally better at best. The University of Rhode Island’s paper had just as many typographical errors as the Argus, and the Brown Herald was mostly comprised of national news obtained through a wire service, thus largely neglecting the voices and opinions of the students. I am sure that the students at Brown were just as displeased with the lack of communication in their school as well.

This is not to say that there aren’t great university newspapers. Columbia University and the University of Missouri both have excellent newspapers that rival many nationally circulated periodicals. Yet, my question still stands: How would you know how the Argus compares to every other university’s newspaper?

In regard to the comments that “we are just as good as those students that attend Ivy League institutions,” and that the Argus is “full of toilet humor, curse words, and allusions to masturbation,” I can only respond by giving my own opinion. I have never felt the need to compare myself to people at Ivy League schools. I have friends from high school and relatives that currently attend or attended Ivy League schools, and they are flat out better than me. They just are. They are smarter, more talented, and overall better people than I will ever be. I will grant the facts that I am borderline retarded, I spend most of my days somewhere between a drunken malaise and blacked out, and that I have eaten a bald eagle after roasting it over an American flag that I lit on fire. However, I do go to the same school as you, so what does that say about you?

As for the “toilet humor, curse words, and allusions to masturbation,” I do feel partially responsible, for I have contributed to each of these. The only defense I have is that cursing makes up a large part of my vernacular and diction. Yet, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Is David Mamet any less of a playwright because of how frequently his characters swear? Is “Catcher in the Rye” less of a novel because Holden curses? I personally don’t think so. Cursing is a prevalent part of our culture. In that way it is a lot like masturbating. I mean, masturbating is a daily event for a lot individuals, just like taking a shower, or changing your socks (which I do after I masturbate). I am sorry that you dislike that, but that’s a big part of the current Argus writers’ lives (and judging by the looks of them, it will be for a long time).

I guess my point is that it is very easy to criticize the Argus for being a poor reflection of Wesleyan University, but it is not going to change just because you wrote a Wespeak (if that was the case the guy who stole Jose Chapa’s laptop would have burned his hand with acidic cum). I am sure that if you wanted to write articles for any section, or create your own section for that matter, the Argus they would gladly accept your submissions.

It is interesting how in a lot of ways Wesleyan is a microcosm of the United States. Just as many people at Wesleyan are starting to neglect the Argus, national newspaper readership is at an all time low. Much like Wesleyan, Americans now use blogs as a means of obtaining news. Yet, if the newspapers were run out of business it would be terrible because everyone involved in television news and blogs knows that many stories would go without coverage. Similarly, if the Argus no longer existed then the Wesleying blog would have less to bitch about.