Product Description: Post Valentine’s Day Sale on Cocksplints! Did your Valentine’s Day not go as well as planned? Did you slip at insertion? Did you try anal without lube? Did someone scare your significant other while you were receiving a blow job? Or did it go a little too well? Did you do it too many times? Is your girlfriend a little too tight? Do you just have a broken penis? Well, you are in luck my friend. Every splint must go! We’re talking medical tape, adhesive tape, foam, and plaster all on liquidation. Come in and get fitted for your own cocksplint today.
(These are [based on] actual testimonials we found on Amazon.com. Honestly, we did not make these up. Check out www.amazon.com/comfort-cool-arthritis-splint-right)
REVIEW: I’ve had cock pain for several years resulting from an overuse syndrome injury related to using a computer. This cock splint solved my problem. Once worn, it doesn’t feel like it’s doing much, but the slight amount of support it provides is enough to eliminate my pain. The splint is comfortable to wear and does not distract me from doing normal things on my computer. I wish I would have known about this splint before I went to the doctor for this problem. I would have been $500 ahead and had a permanent solution to my internet problem
REVIEW: I’m currently battling cock tendonitis. This device is helpful with the morning stiffness and pain. It’s somewhat uncomfortable to wear while sleeping, but after a while you get used to it. The tricky part is adjusting the tape to stretch the shaft enough to be helpful, but not too much so that it feels like an erection and causes pain while sleeping on my stomach.
REVIEW: At first I tried the “sock”-type cock splint, but it tended to concentrate the pulling force on my big dome, and over half the nights the throbbing pain caused me to tear off the splint. So I then tried Ronco’s cocksplint. The splint itself is well formed to fit from tip of the cock all the way to my taint, and has comfortable foam padding. The splint is light and small enough for me, and causes no trouble whatsoever in turning over in bed. And you can get out and walk with it on without feeling like Frankenstein. I wish I had bought this style of splint first instead of wasting several hundred dollars on the other models.
REVIEW: Fuck you Ronco! I had this on for three weeks and my cock turned green. My skin had a reaction to the cheap duct tape and the popsicle sticks gave me splinters (although the riddles were hilarious). Honestly, did you guys just make this up in two hours for sheer visual humor and to fill space?