Manute Bol is anything but “manute” in any facet of his character, as the Wesleyan University maintenance staff recently found out.
Bol, a 1985 second-round NBA draft pick by the Washington Bullets and former defensive Rookie of the Year, joined the Wesleyan lawn-care and maintenance staff three months ago, signing a three-year, $50,000 deal.
“I realize that Manute was never really considered a real winner on the basketball courts, known more as a journeyman who was weak in the low post,” said University President Douglas “Doug” Bennett. “But he’s hotter with lawn clippers than when he was drafted by the Clippers or played for the Heat.”
A 44-year-old Sudan native, Bol averaged 2.6 points, 4.2 rebounds, 0.3 assists and 3.3 blocks per game, while playing an average of only 18.7 minutes per game during his nine-year stint in the NBA. Since then, he has squandered much of his money betting on which case on NBC’s Deal or No Deal had the million dollars in it and on McDonald’s Monopoly game pieces.
“I was really surprised to hear that he has become such a great asset to the landscaping group,” says Bennett of the 7′ 7“ Bol. ”I knew he would be handy when it came to cleaning out the gutters and pruning trees, but he displayed great initiative when he decided to pluck all the leaves off the trees before they fell to the ground. He saved us lots of money in leaf blowing and raking. We are hoping to soon let him drive the zambonis used to clean the Exley Science Center, but currently we do not have one that is big enough for him.“
Bol has also proven to be quite a practical joker on the fields. ”One time I was watering the lawn,“ said Bol co-worker Malcolm-Jamal Warner of The Cosby Show fame, ”and I noticed that the grass I was watering was turning brown. I found out later that Manute had filled my hose with grass killer. But don’t worry, because I got him back. I announced to a bar full of people who I was, and told them that Manute and I were best friends. Now he can’t get laid either. Ha ha ha… Oh man, my life is miserable.“