Has anyone ever told you that you should be ashamed of yourself? Or that you are an embarrassment to your school, your friends, and your parents? In the midst of a college soccer game, nonetheless? Look, we love soccer. And we love Wesleyan. And when we combine the two, it’s the best times of our college career. So we went to the Wesleyan vs. Western New England College men’s soccer game last Sunday. We’ll be the first to admit that we are generally crass people, especially during sporting events. We think that verbally accosting the opposing team is part of going to sporting events in the first place. But at the same time, this was a soccer game! We’re not going to ruin soccer for ourselves by ruining for others.

And in the midst of enjoying the sport, the sheer pleasure of the competition between two equally spectacular soccer teams, an angry WNEC mom takes it upon herself to make judgments about our lives, our values, and more importantly, our intentions as individuals

So we confined our statements to those of praise and adulation to the Cardinals. “You’re a beautiful baby,” “Mello, put your stunner-shades on,” “Nuland, you’re so money,” “Allie Levey is a 4/4 trample!” “Bash is a smokescreen,” and the like.

And yet our signs of loyalty to our alma mater were interpreted as derogatory? I think our families would find our signs of collegial obligation and camaraderie heartwarming at least. I think our positive reinforcement and LASERing should be interpreted entirely as the most benevolent of actions, with no spite or mockery aimed towards those gigglepusses on the WNEC team who lost the match 2-1 on account of incompetence.

We could go on, but we digress. The state of friendly competition is becoming eroded in our lives. I urge every last one of you, as your duty and obligation both to Wesleyan and the shining standard of friendly competition, to shout and holler and scream for the Cards, at every soccer game, for all time.

Throw up the set.


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