Dear Mr. Benjamin,

Unfortunately for you, though I graduated, I still read the Argus. (Think the admissions committee is shocked?)

Let’s pick up where we left off: You responded to Prof. Pfister’s statements with the intention, I assume, of demonstrating that the commoditization of all parts of American culture in the post 9/11 world shouldn’t be blamed (solely) on G. W. Bush.

I agree.

However, you do not actually make an argument for this perfectly valid idea, you merely respond with a childish, albeit elegantly worded, “Oh yeah? Well Clinton cheated on his wife! HAH!”

Excellent. A new high for Argus rhetoric.

Just to make my point (overbearingly) clear, I’ll translate what you wrote for the (what did you call us? semi-literate?) Wesleyan audience:

“And President Clinton, never one to table his priapic appetite’s importunings,” Though the condition is rare, President Clinton suffered from erections lasting for four hours or more, and, instead of seeking medical attention, had sex with every woman he saw, “effectively turned every woman into a kind of commodity.” which made every American woman into a whore, without exception, regardless of their own actions or beliefs.

“Professor Pfister, give credit where credit is due: no man has done more to implant in the national psyche ‘a voyeuristic and consumptive habit that is uniquely American’ than serial consumer Clinton.” Actually, G.W. Bush didn’t screw up anything. Clinton is more responsible for validating the Marxist critique of capitalism in America than any other factor in its history, including the complex relationships between previous administrations, the critics of those administrations, state legislatures, the voting public, individual citizens and their parents, major corporations, individually owned corporations, actors, audiences, etc. or the origins of these relationships, which stem back hundreds of years into the dim horizon of our collective memory. Nope, nothing at all complicated here. Clinton all the way down. Just like that stack of turtles that supports the flat Earth on their backs.

“The rock-and-roll president, he was called. And while he rocked, al Qaeda rolled.” Every time Bill Clinton plays a saxophone a terrorist gets his wings.

Well, I feel edified. How’s by you?