Wesleyan University is an old, prestigious school with a rich history. Orientation Week is your chance to partake in the timeless tradition of stealing that history. The Orientation Scavenger Hunt, commonly referred to as “Grave Robbing” and “Good Ol’ Fashioned Larceny,” is a tradition dating back to the Egyptians. While it is not a University-sanctioned event, it sure is a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, there were no guidelines last year, which led to the theft of a lot of laptops. So before you start digging up the graveyard or stealing Clark’s racially insensitive-graffiti-ridden walls, here are a few specific relics you should be questing for:

Joss Whedon’s Used Condom Joss Whedon is a big deal and a graduate from Wesleyan. Coincidence? Rumor holds that Joss would exclusively rawdog it during his stay here. Some even say Buffy the Vampire Slayer was born out of a crazed, syphilitic mind. But I know the truth: Joss wrapped it up. (And word to the wise, you should too.) Somewhere on campus this hidden relic is just waiting to be found. You’ll know it’s his when you see it; that dude wore Magnums!

Doug and Midge’s XXX Honeymoon Pictures If these pictures were to be advertised on TV, it would have to be late at night and only on cable. They’re that hot! I know what you’re thinking: “That isn’t treasure, I’ve already seen them!” Well, the ones that were leaked to the internet were totally Photoshopped. The real deal is buried in a vault under the foundation of the Usdan Campus Center, and is under twenty-four-hour guard. If you want to get your hands on these bad boys, you’re going to need to work together. Think of it as a great way to meet people!

The Other Half of the Pendant of Life Swim the Moat of Doom, rebuild the broken Statue of Amon, and solve the Riddle of the Monkey! But beware of the dreaded temple guard! If you can make it back in under three minutes, you could win some totally mediocre prizes. Definitely not space camp, though; no one ever wins space camp.

Go on out there and steal yourself some Wesleyan history. Good luck and happy hunting!