For too long the seedy underbelly of greed, corruption, and gang violence has gone unchecked during Wesfest. It’s no secret that the horrifying, and often violent, feud between Early Decision and Regular Decision prefrosh has a long and bloody history. The once uneasy tension has recently escalated to all an out listserv conflict.

Yet, some idealists feel that this may be the year that the violence ends. “We need to turn our energy towards ending this feud. How many more have to die senselessly?” said Jack Miller ’10 (ED), “We need to unite against the true problem: the admissions office. They didn’t want ED students at Wesfest. They’re trying to keep us down. I don’t really go here yet, but I’m sure that is so like them.”

Still others are not as thrilled about the possibility of a ceasefire between ED and RD students. “They [Regular Decision] think they’re so good because they have a choice. I didn’t ask to be accepted here, ya know?” said Mark Kelly ’10 (ED).

Many RDers, with Brown rejection letters still in hand, echoed this sentiment. “Yeah, I totally hate those homos…wait, can I not say homos anymore?” asked one eager Regular Decision student; his other top choice is Trinity. It seems as though there will be no peace this year.

The most recent outbreak of violence occurred this afternoon, when two ED students were gunned down in a drive-by shooting. Regular Decision prefrosh are suspected, but the culprits still remain at large. It was the second drive-by this year.