In a campus-wide e-mail sent Tuesday night, President Douglas Bennet announced that the University would be razing the Zelnick Pavillion.

“I’m going to be honest, guys: we fucked up,” Bennet wrote. “That thing looks as awkward as Mike Myers did when Kanye started talking about George Bush’s alleged dislike of black people.”

According to Bennet, the $22 million-dollar glass-enclosed atrium, which jammed itself into the space between Memorial Chapel and The ’92 Theater sometime in 2003, will be bulldozed “as soon as humanly possible.”

The space will be restored to its previous state of grassy nothingness. Questions were raised as to what would become of the Zelnick name.

“When Fauver Field was replaced with dorms, we just dropped the Fauver Field plaque to the side of the asphalt,” said Director of Media Relations David Pesci. “No one complained, mostly because no one could see the plaque anymore. We’ll probably do something like that.”

“Yeah, we’re going to work with students to create a fitting memorial to [this] Architectural Coyote Ugly,” said Dean of the College Maria Cruz-Saco. “One suggestion was to grind the millions worth of glass up and scatter it amongst the dirt—sparkly! Another idea was to get Whitney Houston to snort up the remains and pen a commemorative tune. We’re open to any student feedback.”

Agreeing with what the e-mail dubbed a “huge-ass waste of $22 million,” most students polled were in favor of the bulldozing. The Argus approached one confused prefrosh banging his head repeatedly against the Zelnick’s glass façade.

“Oh my God, this isn’t a bus station?” the prefrosh, Latrobe Penn, said. “I’ve been waiting for like three hours for the Greyhound. I hate this place, I’m going to NYU.”

Cruz-Saco said that the University had completed a preliminary study for actually turning the pavilion into a bus station but Martin Benjamin ’57 objected.

“I’ve always admired your chutzpah, and never more than now,” Benjamin said. “Whatever became of architects celebrated for penetrating vision? It seems they’ve been succeeded by a breed imbued with an overbearing tenor in concert with un-corralled conceit; a breed that takes umbrage when harsh derision greets its hobby horse – the nag must have a nice and easy derider [ed. note: etc., etc.].”

One student suggested the entire building be placed in the appropriate bin.

“Imagine we recycled a whole building?” said Pat Wright ’07. “We could totally kick Yale’s ass in that Recycle Mania thing.”

When architect Bobby Olson first convinced the school the building would be cool, he called it “a modernist response to nature with Gothic influences.” He said that the transparency of the walls would give “the idea of nature.”

Bennet acknowledged that Olson was “full of shit.”

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a top administrator said that the University had originally hoped opposition to the building would subside as students that remembered what College Row looked like before the glass structure was added graduated.

“That’s our unofficial policy here: wait until the unhappy kids graduate,” the administrator, whose name rhymes with “bitches slappin,” said. “The next generation won’t realize that they are supposed to be mad about something.”