Lets face it. The WSA elections can’t be taken seriously, Tom Delay could have been elected had he lived in Fauver. In hopes of the making next year’s WSA election based on policy and less on popularity, The Ampersand will be taking an objective look at some candidates, their platforms, and their pros and cons as possible representatives of our university. With any luck, this will shed some light on the issues important to your future WSA reps.

John Stamos, Actor/Heartthrob/Greek

Platform: $10 billion universal haircare system.

Pros: You can trust your Uncle Jesse.

Cons: Jake in Progress.

Ray Lewis, Pro-bowl linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens

Platform: “I’m on the cover of Madden!”

Pros: Attended University of Miami, won a Super Bowl.

Cons: May or may not have killed that girl.

Right Said Fred, British one hit wonder pop trio

Platform: “I’m too sexy for the WSA.”

Pros: Devil may care attitude is popular with kids, ironic.

Cons: 1992 called, it wants its topical humor back.

Jeff Skilling, former Enron CEO

Platform: “Just look what I did for Enron!”

Pros: Great book cooker, will temporarily end budget woes.

Cons: Faces up to 325 years in prison

Bill Pullman, Actor/Wesleyan Visitor

Platform: “Unlike anyone else on this list, I’ve been here.”

Pros: Saved the world in ID4, knows Will Smith.

Cons: He’s no John Stamos.