Dr. Kathryn Greene-McCreight ’83, author of one of Publishers Weekly’s top 10 religion books for 2006, gave a lecture of the same name as her book, “Darkness Is My Only Companion: A Christian Response to Mental Illness” yesterday in PAC. She stressed the importance of faith and prayer, as well as medicine and therapy, in the process of healing from a mental illness.
“Mental illness is the kind of disability that you can’t see,” said Greene-McCreight, who has been treated for bipolar disorder over the past 15 years.
The title of Greene-McCreight’s book comes from Psalm 88, in which the psalmist is distressed and cries out to God.
“The psalmist is acknowledging that God is there,” she said. “[And when I was sick] I knew God was good [but] I didn’t feel God’s goodness at all.”
Greene-McCreight said she wrote the book because she had trouble finding good literature on Christianity and mental illness and because her illness helped to shape her perspectives on life.
“The reason I wrote the book was to explore questions like ‘Where is God in all my suffering?’ and ‘What is he doing?’” she said. “[And] I learned an awful lot, not only about myself and what it means to be ill, but about those who are handicapped in physical ways or homeless.”
Greene-McCreight, a mother of two and an Episcopal priest at St. John’s Episcopal church in New Haven, CT, said she has several friends who are homeless and that many homeless people are mentally ill but left untreated because they do not have access to any care.
She went on to explain her own illness, bipolar disorder, which is characterized by bouts of mania and depression.
“Mania is very high,” she said. “You’re just so confident in yourself. Everything fits together… Mania runs very quickly. Mania is more than feeling a little up. It’s actually very dangerous… People may really think they can fly and may try to jump off buildings… Depression is not just being sad. My brain runs slower than molasses in January.”
Nonetheless, those who suffer from mania and depression can still lead very productive lives. Greene-McCreight cited people such as Samuel Coleridge, Victor Hugo, John Bunyan, and Emily Dickinson as success stories. Some people led productive lives, but ultimately committed suicide, such as Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Virginia Woolf, and Sylvia Plath.
Greene-McCreight noticed something was wrong with her after having her second child at the age of 30. Postpartum depression may have been the catalyst for her problems. She explained that is a very real disorder, and it can even lead to extreme cases, such as that of Andrea Yates, a mother who drowned her children.
“Where was her family?” she said about Yates. “Where was her husband? Where were her friends? Why did they leave her alone if she was in this state?”
According to Greene-McCreight, people do not seek help for mental illnesses right away for different reasons—some may be in denial, or are embarrassed by disorders of the brain.
“I didn’t go for help right away,” Greene-McCreight admitted. “I waited until it was too late. I started to have grotesque, intrusive thoughts.”
She encouraged others who feel they may be suffering from a mental illness to seek medical help.
“Don’t be embarrassed by something that is a biological problem,” she said. “I mean, we’ve had a sexual revolution. Maybe we need a brain revolution.”
Over the course of the next 15 years, Greene-McCreight was hospitalized several times and also received electroconvulsive shock therapy, which can cause memory problems as a side effect.
“Throughout the scriptures, there is always a call to remember,” she said, pointing to Passover and Communion. “When I’m mentally ill and can’t remember, I rely on the faith of others… God is for us and with us, and God isn’t any less when you’re ill than when you’re not ill.”
Greene-McCreight fielded questions after her lecture. One question involved the role of evil.
“I don’t think anyone who’s well really wants to hurt anyone else, [but] I do believe that we are, by our human nature, prone to evil,” she said. “I don’t think there are evil people, but people may have evil thoughts and do evil things… Christ changes us, but the powers of the world are always battling us.”
Greene-McCreight said that her faith, in particular prayer and reading the Bible, helped her heal from her mental illness.
“I think we always have to pray, but this is an anatomical problem,” she said, adding that seeking medical help, exercising in order to release serotonin, and seeking psychological therapy should accompany prayer in the healing process.
“I consider myself healed but not cured,” she said. “Maybe God will cure me someday.”
In the mean time, Greene-McCreight says she will continue going to her therapist, exercising, watching her diet, and taking her pills.
The Wesleyan Christian Fellowship and the Dean of the College sponsored the lecture, with around 50 students, faculty, and staff members in attendance.
“I like the fact that the speaker broke the stereotype of Christians usually being seen as anti-medication,” said Aldo Tedjomoeljono ’07. “She’s proven that is not wholly the case. Mental illness is a brain problem. It’s something that has biological causes to it.”
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