I’m the first to admit it: when people ask me ignorant things about homosexuality, I get annoyed and offended. My first reaction is anger. Dismiss the ignorant, blow them off; who cares, right? They offended me, they are ignorant and this is a despicable world. But these thoughts are counter-productive and scary. How can we ever hope to improve our society if we allow its own ill-conceived ideas to perpetuate themselves?
In her Nov. 4 column, Hetert-Qebu A. Walters writes, “I refused to disclose my experiences to those ignorant persons who looked to consume me as their other.” This bothers me. Not only does it bother me because I can already foresee the kinds of reactions my disagreement to her column will garner as a white male responding to this because I am already viewed as hegemonic and patriarchal, but it also bothers me
because it unconsciously seeks to perpetuate ignorance.
Otherizing is a problem, and the consumption of others is obviously a manifestation of this. But, are we drawing the line in the wrong place? I think there is an essential difference between the consumption of the other and the hope to learn from another person -any other person-through dialogue.
Let me clarify. When a minority (I’m sorry to use this problematic term) I mean any person whose race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or religion is distinct from the majority’s and thus negatively treated) is asked about his or her experience, he or she gets offended, and rightly so. No one should have to embody his or her minority status; no one should be the token who speaks to his or her “minority experience” whenever someone else requests it, in or out of the classroom. However, although we should not have to play another’s puppet, we cannot forsake the curious.
We are obviously not here to serve the “heterosexual rich white male” and his pleasure. We are not zoo creatures; but yes, we do have the potential to be teachers
My question is: why are we allowing pride to let ignorance multiply?
Ignorance is evil: it is the root of hate and hate crimes and stereotypes and prejudice. But there are two types of ignorance: base ignorance that is unsympathetic and indifferent to knowledge, and curious ignorance that is receptive and desiring of knowledge. Those who interpret all expressions of ignorance as inherently oppressive and isolate themselves from such “ignorant” people miss a valuable opportunity to combat the stereotypes and misconceptions they so oppose.
When I, as an outsider, express curiosity or confusion about a person’s background, I am noticing the differences inherent in all of our experiences.
Sure there are plenty of books out there about these topics, but doesn’t dialogue make these issues more understandable for everyone? Books are a monologue that should be stirring conversations, not substituting for them.
Now I foresee the situation arising as it did in my Introduction to Sociology class. A fellow classmate asked me, “What do you know about having to explain yourself all the time? Do you know what it’s like to be the token?”
Homosexuality was not minority enough in this class. I obviously couldn’t know what it was like to be a “true” minority. Some minorities, it seems, are just more real and oppressed than others. This hierarchy has always amazed me – as if we decided to oppress each other as well, only to make overcoming oppression harder.
Think about why you are discrediting me, if you are. Is it because I am white and male and therefore necessarily desiring “the other?” And think about why you are agreeing with me, if you are. Is it because I am gay and have an “insider’s look?” I’m not saying that I am right because I am gay and wrong because I am white; I am saying that we confuse experience for full understanding. I obviously cannot defend the position that I know what it means to be a student of color (or even that I know what it’s like to be homosexual in all circumstances), but I do hope we can stop prejudging other people’s opinions based on their real or perceived minority status.
Differences necessarily spawn curiosity, and learning about
differences in productive ways is only helpful. Dialogue must happen, and it must be attended to with sensitivity, sincerity and most of all trust. Without these components, even I’ll start playing games with semantics, singling out offensive words.
It is a betrayal to ourselves as individuals and as part of minority communities to dismiss the ignorant, to chastise the curious, to hate those we should be teaching. When asked, I will honestly try to tell you about me and my experiences, and if I should happen to tread into another’s experiential territory (as Walters poignantly portrayed in her Oct. 2 column about the power of “I”) forgive me.
I, personally, am fed up with the ways we allow ignorance to perpetuate itself. As a result of our current actions, we have created and are continuing to create, a culture of silence within and without our multiple minority
communities. Minorities admit that they are uncomfortable sharing in class; non-minorities are afraid of being accused of racism and ignorance.
I am afraid of ignorance, too. I am not afraid of all ignorance though. I am only afraid of ignorance that doesn’t care, that decided that ignorance is acceptable. But when behind that ignorance is true curiosity, when it
professes a hope and desire to overcome ignorance, then there is room for hope.
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