The other night I was complaining to Doe about all my classic issues. One of them being: why are there no single, attractive, straight guys crossing my path? Are my standards too high? If any of you are fiending after your rom-com moment like I am, then I’m sure you recognize these thought loops. But mid-pity […]
Editor’s note on April 29, 2024: This article is a work of satire. Most of the content is fabricated and/or exaggerated for purposes of entertainment. It was Thursday night, and I was dressed like a cheap and salacious homosexual. Rumors circulated that the bouncers had new ID screening technology. In line, I overheard an underclassman […]
Recently, the Queen Sofía National Museum Art Centre in Madrid, Spain, has started allowing visitors to photograph Pablo Picasso’s “Guernica,” arguing that it would make the exhibit more accessible and “enhance the experience of viewing the painting.” But whether or not this is a positive update remains to be seen. Whenever I go to a museum, […]
I hate good people. Have you ever met one? I sincerely hope not. Quite frankly, good people are some of my least favorite inhabitants of our little planet. When I’m in a particularly bad—or maybe just clear—mood, I would honestly prefer a bad person to a good one. Though I can’t say I enjoy either. […]
Perhaps you can remember this year’s Oscars: the plethora of titles (deservingly) awarded to “Everything, Everywhere, All At Once,” a selection of red carpet looks that ranged from glamorous to unintentionally camp, and a scintillating performance of the winner of the Best Original Song category, “Naatu Naatu,” from the Telugu language film“RRR.” And if you are […]
“Wokeness” is a term that has become popularized and defined by current politicians. The term originally derives from African American Vernacular English (AAVE) and has historically been used by members of Black communities to remind each other to stay aware of racial injustice in the United States. Since around 2020, however, the term has been […]
A couple of months back, my girlfriend and I separated painfully but mutually. It is hard to realize that someone you loved for so long would no longer be part of your present and future. The process of healing has been a lot like mourning: no contact with them, an empty hole in my heart where […]
The Opinion Section created the column Argus Apps to humanize the college process. Common App essays only ever exist within the framework of college admissions, alongside a list of accomplishments, extracurriculars, and test scores. With Argus Apps, we’re revisiting old Common App essays written by Wesleyan students to think about where we’ve been and where […]
Today, I woke up to a recommended playlist entitled “baroque pop twee thursday morning.” This playlist, which featured Brian Eno, The Velvet Underground, and Belle and Sebestian, among others, did in fact encapsulate what my Tuesday mornings sound like. But while they got the artists right, what my playlists don’t usually have is a four-fold […]
It’s no secret that many Wesleyan students are overburdened. At some point in your time here, you’ve probably heard of the Rule of Seven—that is, the suggestion that students should have no more than seven commitments at once including classes, extracurriculars, jobs, etc. It’s meant to be a guide that makes sure we all maintain a […]