The increasingly unattainable goal of peace in the beleaguered state of Israel was dealt another blow recently when the militaristic pseudo-terrorist party of Hamas defiantly trounced its opposition in Palestinian parliamentary elections. Israel’s main point of contention with Hamas stems from the Palestinian party’s denial of Israel’s existence, which is rather surprising…
The Israel-Palestinian conflict really gets my goat. I mean, it’s a lot like a party if you think about it. Sure, sometimes the party can get rowdy and sometimes Israel calls the cops, the U.S., to come and make sure their flat-screen TV isn’t stolen or those strangers don’t hook up in their roommates’ bed.
The confirmation of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court marks the biggest sea-change in the court’s makeup since– Oh, hell, I can’t do this. I was so bummed by Alito’s confirmation that I put on this old Dashboard/Bright Eyes mix (from when Nicole dumped me) on repeat, and I’ve just been sitting here since then.
Here at the AmperOffices, we appreciate the importance of biased journalism. With all the recent talk of burning embassies and angry mobs, we felt it was important to make a statement of our strongly-held belief in the freedom of the press.
Win a date with Amper babe Jess Lane (or Gelman, if you like Jews who are dudes)! For serious!
Once upon a time there was this guy, and he had a show. And this other man— wait, let me start over.
Answer five simple questions to find out!
Many people think that it would be cool to be adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. To these people I would say nothing, because I would be slapping them instead. In my opinion, being the adopted progeny of Hollywood royalty would suck. Here are some reasons why:
Dear NASCAR Dad, I’ve been dating this boy since the beginning of seventh grade. That’s almost four months! And things are starting to get hot and heavy. Sometimes we even neck! But lately he’s seemed less attracted to me. I developed anorexia to lose some weight but I’m still afraid he’s going to break up […]
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Even though you will continue to say "If only they knew the French word for ‘coathanger!’," most people will agree that it would have been funnier if you’d thought to say it during Umbrellas of Cherbourg and not a week afterwards.