Why do we hate liars, you ask? Why do we hold animosity towards fibbers? Because they don’t tell the truth, fallopian tube nose. Like Kevin Bacon, for example. His entire life is one large undulating charade, much unlike his penis in that movie Wild Things. Everything about his life is a lie, a falsehood, a fabrication, and the fact that he expects this dastardly deceit to fool the hearts and minds of the American people is something that makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
Dear Joss Whedon,
Take us now.
Love, Alpha Delt
In a effort to "spread peace and tolerance across the globe, while cashing in on the buying power of under-Valentinized religions such as State Shinto," Hallmark, Inc. announced Monday that they would release a new series of Valentine’s Day cards featuring popular religious figures.
Point: Contrary to popular belief, being alone is not a bad thing, especially on Valentine’s Day. You don’t have to worry about buying gifts or remembering anniversaries. Also, there are plenty of great things that are best when done on your own, like reading, single-player mode in Mario Kart, or riding a tandem bike alone.
CAMPUS CENTER LOVE TRANSACTION I was in my North Face jacket and brown knit hat with white snowflakes. You were wearing a red button-up shirt with a black apron. I bought the seafood salad special at lunchtime. You had to swipe my card like three times and you asked me how my day was. I […]
Inspired by the unequivocally powerful film Brokeback Mountain, the most stirring and passionate love story of our time that has ignited the hearts and loins of moviegoers nationwide, millions of strapping straight lads throughout America have taken a cue this Valentine’s Day from Ang Lee’s masterpiece.
Inspired by the unequivocally powerful film Brokeback Mountain, the most stirring and passionate love story of our time that has ignited the hearts and loins of moviegoers nationwide, millions of strapping straight lads throughout America have taken a cue this Valentine’s Day from Ang Lee’s masterpiece.
Win a date with Amper babe Jess Lane (or Gelman, if you like Jews who are dudes)! For serious!
Once upon a time there was this guy, and he had a show. And this other man— wait, let me start over.
Does anyone else feel like we’re kind of one big set of adopted relatives for those little kids on the Pura Vida things that you put around your cup of coffee or mochachino or whatever you’re drinking in the morning? Seriously, I really feel like I’m practically related to those kids, since I see them so often.