April 09, 2025

My Year, in Films

February 28, 2006, by Katie “I am Unlovable” Brown, . Leave a Comment

Movies I Saw in the Theater This Year:

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Rumor Has It

The Perfect Man

Must Love Dogs

The Family Stone

Ice Princess

The 8-Year-Old Film Critic: Out at the Oscars

February 28, 2006, by Stevie “Back by 9” Aubrey, . Leave a Comment

Guess what? Because you will never guess what.

I am going to the Oscars.

You may not think it is true, but it is. Because I got a card in the mail today and it said I could go to the Oscars if I wanted. Because I am a film critic. Film critics go the Oscars. It’s true. You can ask anybody.

Tom Cruise: Pathetic Wackjob or Misunderstood Hero?

February 28, 2006, by Andrew “Ironically, Abused by a Psychiatrist as a Child” Bean, . 1 Comment

I can’t stand that Tom Cruise was robbed once again, this time for his performance in War of the Worlds, in yet another example of Hollywood’s bias against Scientologists. Scientologists are hard-working, perfectly sane people. Personally, I think that the Academy was scared away by the reports repeatedly labeling Mr. Cruise as "crazy."

Sequels to Oscar Noms Predicted to Win Big

February 28, 2006, by Nat “Return of Nat Webb” WebbAlex “Son of Alex Gelman” Gelman, . Leave a Comment

Brokeback Volcano
Good Morning, and How Was That Thing You Had?

Munich 2: the Reckoning

Crash, But the One David Cronenberg Made in 1996

Truman Capote, Re-Animator

Paradise Later

Riding the Bus with My Sister Sweeps Special Oscars

February 28, 2006, by Nat “Sweeps the Floor at the S&C” Webb, . Leave a Comment

It was a big night for retards everywhere Sunday when Anjelica Huston’s directing debut Riding the Bus with My Sister took home Special Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay. Star Rosie O’Donnell took home the coveted Best Performance in a Retarded Role, shutting down Timothy Treadwell’s hopes for a posthumous award for his role in Grizzly Man.

Editors’ Note: Is Honored Just to be Nominated

February 28, 2006, by , . Leave a Comment

I mean, we don’t expect to win Best Editor’s Note again! We won last year. It would hardly be fair to win two years in a row. They can’t just keep giving the award to us.

Editors’ Note: The Ampersand gets a puppy!

February 21, 2006, by , . Leave a Comment

For years we’ve begged the WSA to give us a puppy. Our budget always read something like this:

$10 – Pens, Legal Pads
$25 – Sorority Boys DVD
$300 – Tropical Fruit Gushers
$57 – PUPPY!!! pleasepleaseplease

Gruffles is an Acclaimed Star of Stage and Screen

February 21, 2006, by Nat “Vin Diesel for Best Actor” Webb, . Leave a Comment

When we got this puppy, we had heard it used to be one of those show-biz dogs. Not the kind that can find a treat in Jay Leno’s pants on live TV, but rather a trained acting dog. Naturally when I learned this I immediately demanded that we had a film festival of all the great stuff our new puppy had been in.

Amadou Diallo: Seven years later

February 21, 2006, by Brendan “Gruffles and I Fought the Law” Larkin, . Leave a Comment

I didn’t spend any time with the new puppy because of the following bad experience: It was the winter of 1999 and middle school was going great. On an early February morning I was wandering around the Bronx with a puppy, as sixth graders often do, when four policemen jumped out of a car. “NYPD. Freeze,” they yelled to a man, “Put your hands up.”

Gruffles is a Racist

February 21, 2006, by Claire “African American Studies with a concentration in Gender and Sexuality” Greenwood, . Leave a Comment

Friday night was so embarassing. I took puppy to the Jubilee Shades of Blackness performance and he insisted on wearing his “Yellow Labs Rule” trucker cap and an Exeter shirt! After we sat down to watch the dance troupes, he peed on the ground. Throughout the performance he was barking and peeing, all the while in his stupid outfit. AWKward!

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