In rather Xciting, Xtreme, Xoticizing-the-mutant-other news, the entire 2006 graduating class of Professor Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters in Salem Center, New York will be attending Wesleyan in the fall and will make up the entirety of Wesleyan’s class of 2010, otherwise known as the "Class of X."
While seniors are busy finishing their theses, everyone else has their mind on something that is actually important, or at least something that I care about: housing. Some people desperately try to assemble the perfect group, avoiding that guy. Others come to the sad realization that they are that guy.
At a press conference Monday, the Wesleyan Film Studies department released notes belonging to film major Liam Neeson ’74. The notes outline Neeson’s plans for a thesis discussing his own work in films not yet released, filmed, written, or conceived.
The case has been solved. The people need not fear anymore. The villain has been caught. The plagues have been stopped. We are free. Such jubilation is appropriate for the times we are in, because rarely is justice so duly served.
Things I Would Rather Talk About Than My Thesis and Things I Would Rather Talk About than Graduating and Having to Get a Job.
If you’re anything like me— of Polish descent— you’ve become a bit depressed recently with the dearth of parties, ragers, jump-offs, and box socials on campus. A dark cloud of chagrin and depression has settled over this campus in recent weeks, with students looking emaciated, distraught, and on the verge of an emotional breakdown.
The conditions were far from ideal on a blustery Saturday at Tufts, but the Wesleyan track and field team put aside all distractions and ended the day with eight runners placing in six different events. Stephanie O’Brien ’08 was Wesleyan’s top performer, coming in first out of 28 in the 400m.
In one of the biggest examples yet of the power of the internet, as well as the rapid decline in quality of Hollywood films, upcoming movie Shits on a Plane has developed a devoted fanbase months before its summer opening, Studio exects were persuaded to go back and add more than 15 minutes of footage to the final cut several months after it wrapped, adding even more violent and bloody diarrhea, kick-ass violence, and scenes of Angelina Jolie having sex from other movies.
Okay, I know it’s been a while. I know you have to think long and hard to recall those halcyon days when I was cool, when I was hip, when I meant you were popular. I know you’re probably reading this in the bathroom while your bowels are more out of control than a flying high-speed means of transportation that has been commandeered by slithering reptiles, but bare with me for a second. Come on kids, don’t you remember me?
The Aristobats
Bat Santa
Sisterhood of the Travelling Bats
How Stella Got Her Groove Bat
Miss Congeniality 3: Bats!
The Truth About Bats and Bats