April 05, 2025

Wesleyan athletic traditions

August 31, 2006, by Nat “Curling Scholarship” Webb, . Leave a Comment

What, exactly, is the state of sports at Wesleyan? Will you be able to run your personal best in the half-marathon, feel the life-affirming crunch of a fellow man’s bones beneath your cleated heel, or smoke a fat doob while tossing the ’bee? The answers, my friend, are yes, no, yes.

Steal Your Way to Fame! A Wesleyan tradition that all the cool kids follow unquestioningly

August 31, 2006, by Brendan “Grand Theft Heirloom” Larkin, . Leave a Comment

Wesleyan University is an old, prestigious school with a rich history. Orientation Week is your chance to partake in the timeless tradition of stealing that history. The Orientation Scavenger Hunt, commonly referred to as "Grave Robbing" and "Good Ol’ Fashioned Larceny," is a tradition dating back to the Egyptians. While it is not a University-sanctioned event, it sure is a lot of fun.

Editors’ Note

May 9, 2006, by , . Leave a Comment

is going to live with a nice family on a farm

Class of ’36 Expects Spirited Reunion

May 9, 2006, by Andrew “Grandpa” Bean, . Leave a Comment

The four surviving members of Wesleyan’s class of 1936 are looking forward to what will surely be a joyous and mirthful 70th reunion. This reporter managed to get ahold of each of the four men before their return to their alma mater. Obadiah McClatchy, 93, says he can’t wait to meet his former classmates.

Last Ditch List-O-Rama!!!

May 9, 2006, by NatJohann, . Leave a Comment

Fun things to do during commencement? The funniest Ampersand lists of all time? Things that are harder to do once you’ve moved back home? Ampersand editors who have not attended a single meeting all semester – not even the meeting where Katie made us hamburgers and hot dogs? Things that were better about Wesleyan when we were freshmen? Things that will undoubtedly be worse when you’re a senior?

Andrew W.K. Cancels Spring Fling Plans Student Body “Not Partying Hard Enough”

May 9, 2006, by Nat “N.W.” Webb, . Leave a Comment

The Social Committee of the WSA announced Monday that Andrew W.K., scheduled to appear at this year’s Spring Fling party, would not be performing. According to Justine Hardslab ’07 of the SC, W.K.’s agent said that recently-released statistics convinced W.K. that Wesleyan students "do not party enough."

Bennet Wusses Out: Leaves Super-Speed Issue Unresolved

May 9, 2006, by Nat “My AmperSense is Tingling” Webb, . Leave a Comment

Wesleyan University President Doug Bennet announced his impending retirement from the world of academia Wednesday, leaving a number of the pressing matters of his presidency as yet unresolved. Bennet, who intends to spend his retirement reading, sailing, and undergoing electro-shock speech therapy, did not comment on how his retirement would impact issues of long-term strategy, institutional memory, or partying hard to Andrew W.K.

AmperSeniors Graduate: Don’t Cry, They’re Going to a Better Place

May 9, 2006, by , . Leave a Comment

So what’s happening to Kate Brown, Johann Patlak, and Stephen Aubrey?

All Hail King (Editor) Gelman: Ampersand Now Officially Girl-Less

May 9, 2006, by Alex “The New Shomer ShaBOSS” Gelman, . Leave a Comment

Do you hear that? Listen closely, faithful followers, can you hear it? That distant bell toll from far off Argus offices. What is it, you ask? That is the dong of liberation, the ding of freedom, for the witch is dead, and with her goes a tyrannical reign of estrogenical "humor."

Everybody’s Leaving Me: An AmperFamily Eulogy

May 9, 2006, by Brendan “My Mom Thinks I’m Handsome” Larkin, . Leave a Comment

I didn’t learn anything my freshman year and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard I will party with Andrew W.K., so I guess I’ll just write about how everyone in my life is leaving me. The Ampersand is really like a family. Katie Brown is the mom, but one of those cool moms who doesn’t yell at you for submitting stuff late and encourages you to drink and have unprotected sex.

Newer posts » « Older posts