Williams: Hey, can we talk for a bit?
Wes: Yeah, totes. What’s the deal?
Based on a true story:
The Ampersand has two great loves. One is a superficial understanding of the philosophical thinkers over the past 200 years. The other is children’s games.
Is it a man or a woman? Woman! It’s your mother. They’re all your mother.
Players take the role of children sneaking towards their mother late at night, trying not to wake their sleeping father (who lies in the middle of the board on a large bed next to your mom).
Should you bop it, twist it, pull it, or run it like a wheel up a hill in hell? Existential “Bop-It” just doesn’t know. Existential Bop-It has absolutely no inner essence, nor does it recognize what it really wants. You decide for “Bop-It.”
Get 41 of your closest friends together for a hoot’n’hollering good time. Roll one die. Whoever rolls the highest number, take one piece and place it on to a territory. Continue in this fashion until all players have one territory and all territories have been claimed. Then bunker down for a long night of anti-imperialism […]
There is no banker; he has been replaced by the state. Starting with the state each player rolls the dice. It doesn’t matter what you roll; the state goes first and dictates the order in which the players follow him.
How was my Summer? How do you think it was? It was awesome! I’m fucking Michael Roth! And every hot summer night that I spend listening to Neil Diamond records and staring into the mirror while masturbating I am literally fucking Michael Roth.
So we here at the Ampersand have stopped doing comedy. We’re now cultural commentary page. It has come to our attention that many of the freshmen were not alive during the ‘80s (a.k.a. the greatest decade ever). We now consider it our job to recall for you our memories during this amazing decade.